I heart PostSecret

Tonight my friend Mindy and I attended a PostSecret Live event held in Seattle.  PostSecret is a project started by Frank Warren back in the day (circa 2004), where he encouraged people to anonymously mail their secrets to him on postcards.  He started posting them on a blog and it has grown tremendously since it started; it now includes books and the tour, and he still updates secrets every Saturday night at midnight.  Mindy and I have been following PostSecret for years and I've been waiting for the opportunity to see him speak.  It came tonight!

A lot of secrets that are submitted are about troubles in people's lives.  Frank talked about his own dark, challenging times growing up, and how they have led him to be the person that he is today.  He said he wouldn't go back and change them, even if he could.  There are lessons to learn and grace to develop from all of the adversities that you face, and life can really be special when the darkness finally turns lighter and you're able to overcome the challenges that you faced and develop into an even better person than before.

I'm not one to get too sappy or soft (heck, I don't even cry at movies), but his words really touched me tonight.  He helped me to remember that this very dark thing I'm going through will only help to shape me into the person I'm meant to be and make me a better person overall.  I've tried to stay positive through this ordeal, but the reality and scariness is starting to sink in a bit, and I've struggled at times the last couple of days to keep it all together.  But, I truly believe that this whole experience will make me a stronger person.  I'm hoping it also makes me more patient, more compassionate towards others, and more open about sharing my feelings towards my loved ones.  (I love you guys...)

Frank read a short quote from MLK Jr. that seemed quite fitting, and I'm having a hard time tracking it down online right now.  It was something about undeserved adversity resulting in redemption... or something like that... and it hit home for me.  If I find that quote, I'll share it on here.

Mark your calendars yo!!

It's official... I'm having brain surgery!  The big day is Monday, May 23rd around 5am.








I met with neurosurgeons Dr. S and Dr. H again today and also met Dr. P (the resident that will be in my surgery) for the first time.  We got lots of detailed information about the procedure itself, and I'm feeling pretty good.  I'll go in early, do the prep, do the surgery, and come out to recovery and the ICU late that afternoon/early evening.  I'll be able to see my family once I'm out of recovery.  I'll stay in the ICU for 1 night and then transfer out to a non-ICU bed for at least 1 night, maybe more, depending on how it goes and how I'm feeling.
For anyone that's thinking of visiting me in the hospital (and you are totally welcome to, but doooon't feel obligated, really), Tuesday the 24th and possibly Wednesday the 25th would be good days to do that.  I need to find out what visiting hours are and will share that as it gets closer.  
On a related note, I got an email from a good friend's sister's boyfriend's personal training client (whew!) who has worked in the brain tumor field for over a decade and has no idea who my doctors are, and she says, "I highly recommend Dr. S at University of Washington Medical Center - he is an excellent neurosurgeon and I would put my own life in his hands if I had to. There is also a neuro-oncologist at the Fred Hutch Cancer Research Center who is excellent - Dr. Mr."  Well friends, I am happy to say that these are MY very doctors!  Dr. Mr also moonlights at UW.  Like I've said before, I'm in great hands!

Step one one one, we can have lots of fun

Well, I'm officially starting the path to surgery.  I have a consultation with Dr. S, one of my neurosurgeons, and a pre-anesthesia appointment this Wednesday (as in, day after tomorrow).  This is where I should be getting more details about the whole process and the surgery itself.  The anesthesia folks will talk to me about my health history to make sure I'm healthy enough for anesthesia.  Might even do some small tests, although that could also come later.  My lovely seester Amy is coming with me.

Amy can take things very seriously when necessary

The other big thing with my appointments on Wednesday is that I'll likely get the surgery actually scheduled.  Booked, on the calendar, with the clock counting down.  Pretty official.  Will keep everyone posted once that's determined!

And on an unrelated note, I got a clean bill of health (tooth-wise) from the dentist today.  Telling me I have a cavity would have just been plain rude.

Well, we ARE both a little toxic

Today's quote of the day, sent by a friend in response to my big news:

"Let's be honest...if anyone can rock a shaved head...it's you and Britney.  Duh."

It's Britney, bitch

Thanks for making me bust out laughing today, Amel.  :)

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time in January 2011, I turned 30.  It was a lovely day.  I was in Seoul, South Korea, and the festivities included a visit to a Korean bathhouse, homemade gnocchi dinner made by some kickass chefs, and some high-class noraebang (karaoke).

My Korea hostess Mindy and I dominating "We Built This City"

It was a fun day and I tried to push the "once I turn 30 I'll fall apart" voice out of my head.  It mostly worked.

After returning to Seattle, I settled into 30.  But not for long.  I started to fall apart.

At the end of January, I had some weird things happen with my left arm.  It went very tingly and achey (like when a limb that's asleep wakes up) for a day and a half, without stopping.  I went to my doctor, who referred me to a neurologist (Dr. K), who ran a lot of tests.  Three brain MRIs, 2 EEGs (including a "sleep deprived EEG" that required me to stay up all night), a heart EKG, 12 vials of blood work, and an epilepsy neurologist (Dr. Mi) later, Drs. K and Mi decided my arm symptoms are migraine related.  I've had a handful of tingly and achey spells with my arm since then, but nothing huge.

This is how gorgeous sleep deprived EEGs look, after staying up all night

However, and totally unrelated to my arm, the neurologists noticed a spot on my brain MRIs.  They referred me to neurosurgeon #1 (Dr. H) at the UW University Hospital, where I've also met with neurosurgeon #2 (Dr. S) and a neuro-oncologist (Dr. Mr) and their nurses.  Here's where I make the long story short:

I have a brain tumor.  That the neurosurgeons and neuro-oncologist think should be removed with surgery.  As of today, I haven't scheduled anything, but I will likely start pre-surgery appointments with the neurosurgeons and friends at the University Hospital soon.  Surgery could come in May.

The purpose of this blog is to give me one place to update that my family and friends can see, in order to keep tabs on my progress.  I know this blog is public, but I'm not advertising my situation on Facebook or anything, so please use discretion if you're sharing this information with other people.

Thank you to everyone that's supported me and talked with me.  I'll add more details here as I go along.