Mini meltdown

I'm taking a short break from your regularly scheduled "European observations" programming to share this short announcement.  I am freaking out.  And not in a good way.

I am currently alone in Munich, as my colleagues from Seattle and Paris have headed back to Paris, yet I'm here in Munich by myself for 2 more days.  And I'm really uncomfortable with that.  My directional issues are as terrible as ever, and I can barely make it from the hotel to the office here (that is around the corner and 1 block away) without screwing it up.  I am hoping that I can get to work, out to get some lunch, back to the office, and back to my hotel on my 1st try tomorrow.  I can have both breakfast and dinner in my hotel.  Keep your fingers crossed.

I am really quite terrified to venture out, to be honest.  I get lost SO EASILY, and having that happen alone in the dark in a city where I don't speak the language is scary enough to keep me confined within my hotel.  It's sad.  I should be out checking out the city, and I'm just too scared.  To tears.  I'm so frustrated.  This makes me feel so stupid, and nobody seems to quite understand what this really is like.  It won't improve.  I can't just follow a map, or remember street names, or recognize buildings, or remember that my hotel room is left out of the elevator (it may be right, for all I know).  My brain doesn't do that anymore.  I'm afraid this will deter me from my love of international travel...

I'm going to stop crying now and get to bed.  Needless to say, as much as I love Europe, I can't wait to get home (as I'm spending next week in Paris all alone too).

I'll now end this meltdown and return you to your regularly scheduled programming...

Marseille observations

Last week I spent 2 glorious days in Marseille, France.  (How I wish there was a sarcastic font.)  While it is in the "south of France" and near the Mediterranean, it was not my cup of tea.  If Marseille and I went to the same high school, we would not sit together during lunch in the cafeteria.  It was dirty, sketchy, stinky, and somewhat unsafe, I was told.  I was instructed to keep a close eye on my purse, as they have a lot of crime.  Granted, my hotel and the office I was at weren't in the nicest areas of the city, but still. 

• Taking a step back, I caught the train to Marseille at Paris' Gare de Lyon station.  I bought a quick breakfast at the station and a begger came up to me, begging in French.  I told him that I don't speak French, I'm sorry, and he responds with "money money money money money money."  Those multilingual beggars are crafty!
• I caught my cab to Gare de Lyon around 6am, and had to knock on the window of the cab to wake up the driver to get a ride.  What was his preferred method of caffeine?  Blasting Wham! the entire ride.  :)
• The train ride there was nice enough, and the land changed as we headed south.  It reminded me of the change when you drive from northern to southern California. 
• I'm convinced that Europe has better graffiti and graffiti artists.  They use a lot of color, have precise drawings, and are pretty enjoyable to look at.  Some of it is tacky and poor like we see in the states way too much, but I rather enjoy it otherwise.  I don't have a great picture of an example, as you tend to see it while riding in trains or taxis, but take my word on this one.

The view from my hotel dining area.  Lovely vacant lot with some graffiti.

• The office I worked at is in the same building as a soap opera set, so French soap stars are known to be sighted on the premises.  I didn't recognize anyone, what with the French soap connoisseur I am, but my coworker pointed an actor out in the lobby.  Tres exciting!  When we would leave at night, there would be a small crowd of people waiting outside.  Apparently they were seeking autographs.  I should have grabbed a pen and signed "Sara, CPA" and walked away.  :)  And our cab driver who took us there the first morning asked my French coworker (in French) if I was headed there for a casting.  Ha!

No, Alexander/Eric Northman wasn't there.  Only in my dreams.

• After work, we went to the nicer part of Marseille, along the harbor.  It was cute, and we ate at a little seafood restaurant.  Apparently Marseille is famous for their bouillabaisse (a fish soup with pieces of fish in it), so I thought I'd try it.  I have no problem with eating fish or other animals, but I do freeze up a little when they're still in their animal form.  Well, friends, guess what was waiting for me.

Uhh, NO THANK YOU.

• After dinner, we wandered the streets a little.  There was a soccer game that night, and apparently Marseille is a huge soccer town.  They won against an Italian team that night, and there were TONS of cops out on the streets, totally bored.  That is, until 1 wasted fan came out, skipped (yes, skipped) through a group of cops, singing in a happy and harmless mood.  According to my French coworkers, he was singing "Italians are gay!  Italians are gay!"  Well, one of the cops must have been partial to Italians, because he took off angrily after the guy and he ended up being cornered by about 8 cops.  Ahh, Marseille.  Way to combat crime.
• On our walk to work one morning, besides stepping over dog poop on the sidewalks, we had to step over a paper bag filled with poop that someone had already stepped on.  Keep it classy.
• After dinner, we got back to our hotel to find that the front desk counter had transformed into a bar, complete with bar stools and 2 beer taps.  So awesome!  I wish I'd gotten a pic...

Anyway, while the people we worked with in Marseille were really nice (and patient, given that they spoke little English and my Parisian coworker translated everything) and the weather was warm (50+ degrees, I'd estimate), I'm pretty sure I'd not ever like to go back.  Cannes, Nice, Monaco, YES.  Marseille, not so much.

I spent the weekend in Zurich visiting Jen and Jeff and am in Munich as I type this.  I'll get caught up and have more to share soon!

Parisian observations 2.1

Bonjour yo!  I've landed in Paris and had a few full days of work and exploring, which is just enough time to have the jet lag start to hit me.  But I can't let it get to me too much, as I'm off in the morning on a 7am train to Marseille!  Here's what I've noticed about Paris thus far (plus what I've been up to), in no particular order...

• The people are still uber chic, no change there.  This time around though I get to observe their winter outerwear.  And it is just as neutral and chic as I'd imagined!  Every adult is wearing a black coat.  Literally.  Perhaps 1 in 5 is wearing gray, navy, or olive green.  Otherwise black.  Coats are either wool (pea or toggle) or puffy/anorak with a fur lined hood.  That's IT.  Keep your purple Helly Hansen in the states, thankyouverymuch.
• Like in the states, you can tell when a group of people are friends by what they're wearing.  The group of teens in front of us at the Metro ticket machine were obviously friends...

High top Chucks, anyone?!

• It is slightly warmer than freezing here, so scarves are a must.  Ladies, dudes, scarves.  Wear one.  Everyone.  Gloves and hats are optional, however.
• The RER trains here are named after people.  Not sure why or how they name them, but I like it.

And I was told you NEVER spell it without an H in France...

• The French kids, oh the French kids.  So stinking chic too!  There were a bunch running around in Versailles, and they were all dressed in black, navy, gray, or olive green wool coats or puffy coats, with cool leather boots and trendy hats and scarves and gloves.  There wasn't a single pink or purple or red or royal blue article of clothing to be found, nor did I see a single cartoon charactered backpack or shoe.  And trust me, I was looking.  So it's easy to see where all of the French get their style from... they're practically born with it!
• Although, Versailles is NOT exactly what I'd call stylish.  I think gaudy is the better word.

The gold glistened in the sun like Master P's teeth after a brushing

Okay, so I do enjoy a motherload of chanderliers

• Starbucks in non-touristy areas still struggle with my iced mocha no whip order, even after I say it to them in French (tall mocha gla-say, sans crem fwettee).  They know what I'm saying but the last 2 mornings a more experienced barista has had to show a lesser experienced barista how to actually concoct such a crazy crazy drink.  Yesterday it had approximately 10 ice cubes in it, but today's crew was a little more generous with the ice.  Delish.
• Apparently the movie Chronicle isn't advertised well enough in the states.  My coworkers and I saw the French poster plastered all over the Metro and we thought it was a French movie that takes place in Seattle.  After a little IMDBing, turns out it's an American movie that just isn't promoted very well IMO.  Anyway, it's a nice little reminder of home.  :)

Cars + Space Needle = a sweet photo opp from the roof of my apartment building that I obviously missed out on

• The Arc de Triomphe is still here.  Although it hadn't met my new haircut yet, so I introduced it.

Oh, you're taking a picture?!  I had no idea.  I was just hanging out here casually.

• Every single person at work here that I met back in September (with my longer hair) looked at me in confusion when I said hello for the first time this week, and then they each told me they didn't recognize me.  I kind of enjoy this game.  :)

Alright, I'm out of info for now but will be remain diligent to report back the continent's trends and traditions and weird situations.  Time to pack and head to bed so I don't sleep in past my train to the south of France.  Bonsoir and au revoir!

And I'm off!

I am leaving for the airport in about half an hour for a 3 week adventure in Europe.  Well, it'll be 3 weeks of work but 2 awesome weekends with friends, so I'm calling it an adventure.  I plan to post my observations from Paris, Marseille, Zurich, Munich, and Amsterdam.  (And this trip will be a good distraction from my MRI that I have the week I get back...)

And in the meantime, please enjoy a sneak peek of my main man John Mayer's first single from his upcoming album.  CAN'T WAIT!

Peace out, friends!

A Valentine's faux pas

Perhaps it's frowned upon to blog about your ex-boyfriend on Valentine's Day, but I'm going to do it anyway.  Suck it, Cupid.

Jeff and I talked on the phone last night for the first time in weeks.  He's deploying to Afghanistan this Friday for 6 months and wanted to catch up before he leaves.  I think of him as a friend so it was great to talk to him (but still tough at the same time... sigh).  Anyhoo, he says the area he's going to is pretty safe since he'll be in a hospital zone.  He's more concerned with being bored and getting too yoked.  (Kidding about the 2nd part.)

I'm still nervous about Jeff going over there and hope that he is able to stay safe and sane.  Please send him positive vibes and keep him in your thoughts for a safe and speedy deployment!

Fortune cookie surprise from my desk neighbor Kelly at work, who is not traumatized by my haircut

And in the meantime... Happy Valentine's Day!

Taking care of business

I'm almost a week in to my zombie sleep project, and it's surprisingly quite un-zombielike!  I suppose I'm so used to not enough sleep that the 6 hours I'm allowed to be in bed each night seems about normal.  I'm tired, yes, but no more tired than normal.  I've forced myself to stay up till midnight each night and gotten out of bed at 6am when my alarm goes off (minus over the weekend... really, let's not be ridiculous with this whole thing).  And I feel normal!  Very tired normal, but still.  And the sleep I am getting feels a little better.  Most nights I fall asleep relatively quickly by my standards and am getting decent quality sleep.  I meet with Dr. D on Tuesday to update him with my progress.  We'll see what he says.

I got the confirmation from Pantene Beautiful Lengths about my hair donation!  I think it's being put to very good use for some woman out there who needs it.

Nice mail to receive

My fellow Alpha Chi alum from Wazzu and KOMO regular Kathi Goertzen is having another brain surgery this Wednesday.  When recently asked how many she's had, she couldn't remember, there've been so many.  Her tumor is causing her some serious problems, as she's lost control of part of her face and has issues swallowing and must use a feeding tube.  She also has difficulty talking.  Please keep her in your thoughts this week for a successful surgery!

Back in October, amidst word that fellow tumor dominator Ryan Leaf was starting radiation soon, I *may have* stalked him on FB and sent him a message of support.  You know, why not.  :)  Well, guess who got a response today?!  Me!  Ha!  He says he'd love to be a part of my brain tumor dominating troupe and thanked me for my message and thoughts, and that he'd keep me in his thoughts and prayers as well.  Cougs helping Cougs, 3.5 months later.  :)

On Friday, I met up for happy hour at Zig Zag with a friend who is a breast cancer survivor.  I hadn't had a chance to talk to her much about her experience before, and she was curious about mine as well, so we enjoyed adult beverages, calamari, and margharita pizza and talked.  And it was GREAT!  It is so nice when I get the chance to talk to someone who has been through a similar situation and can really relate to the feelings and emotions and fears and changes.  She is doing really well and it made me so happy to catch up with her!

It's almost Valentine's Day, which is everyone's favorite holiday (especially my single lady friends and myself, duh).  I will have a lovely holiday, thankyouverymuch, filled with sugar.  I received my annual V day care package from my mom that included a special guest.  I also got one of Johnny's famous V day candy jars, filled with tasty treats (Johnny is my friend Syd's dad, and he's made these for Syd and friends as long as I've known her).

YES.

Happy Valentine's Day, friends!  Wah wahhh...  ;)

"Compliment" of the day

Today at work a very sweet girl that I see every once in a while was in my department's area.  She doesn't know about my tumor sitch and has no idea why I cut my hair.  I haven't talked to her about my haircut either (or spoken to her in a couple of months, really).  Before even saying hello, she let out this doozie:

"I'm still traumatized by your haircut!  It was sooo long and now it's sooo short!"

Uhhhh.... traumatized?!  Really?  She had a somewhat concerned look on her face too.  I just kind of laughed and told her that it's been a really good change for me.  What else do you say?!  I honestly think it's kind of funny, and I'm positive that if she knew why I cut my hair, she'd feel awful for saying that.  Oh, people...

Here's my advice, friends.  Please don't let any bold fashion or drastic hair or makeup cause you any trauma tomorrow.  With the rain that's arrived, there will be hoods and damp heads out.  Please stay safe mentally when seeing such outerwear changes on people around you.  And if those rainboots and frizzy rained hairdos make you uncomfortable, please don't express that to the wearer.  Unless you're complimenting my sweet aubergine Hunters, in which case, go right ahead.

Be safe.  :)

Attack of the zombie

I am about to be a zombie.  Well, at least for a week, but maybe longer (up until my trip).  I met with Dr. D, my sleep psychiatrist, this morning and he's got me on the fast track to zombie-land.

Me this week, if I were Mila Kunis and about a foot shorter (and with a wonky zombie eye?!)

So I've been tracking my sleep for the last week, and today he went through my log.  He calculated the estimated amount of actual sleep I've gotten each night (not including times lying awake in bed) and came up with an average of 5.5 hours per night.  Not good.  Then you add 30 minutes to that, equaling 6 total hours.  

For the next week, I only get to be in bed for 6 hours each night.  That means that if I want to get out of bed at 6am, I am not allowed to get into bed until midnight.  If I want to "sleep in" till 6:30am, I can't go to bed until 12:30am.   This schedule is supposed to stay in place on the weekend too; BUMMER.

I'm also not allowed to snooze my alarm in the morning, which will be VERY challenging for me.  I'm a serial snoozer, setting my alarm at least 30 minutes earlier than I actually want to get out of bed.  Dr. D told me that serial snoozing actually negatively impacts your sleep, as your body gets conditioned to being in bed but not being asleep.  Which leads to the whole purpose of this zombie exercise.  This is supposed to shock my body into only sleeping when I'm in bed.  No lying awake, no snoozing, nothing.  Plus, I think with such little sleep each night, I'm going to be EXHAUSTED and will hopefully konk out very quickly.  There are no restrictions on caffeine, which will help.  But I have a feeling this week is going to be ROUGH.  I already warned my coworkers that if they hear snoring, it'll be coming from my desk.

After doing the 6 hours/night for a week or so, we can begin to add time to that in 15 minute increments.  We can do that up to the point that I end up spending time in bed but not sleeping.  Then we reel it back 15 minutes.  Hopefully this will teach my body to only sleep in that comfy bed of mine.

Who knows if this will work, but I'm almost willing to try anything.  It'll take some discipline, so hopefully I can do it.  It better be worth it though... I am about to become zombified!  Eek!!

50/50

Last night I watched the movie 50/50 in the comfort and privacy of my own home.  And am I glad I did!  (Both watch it and do it at home, that is.)  I thought it was really good.  Realistic, touching, sad, funny (but appropriately so).  And I CRIED.

Before this whole tumor adventure started, I had never cried at a movie.  Ever.  I knew they were fake, and I wasn't much of a softie, so they never made me tear up.  But oh how things have changed!  I can cry on command, if needed, and I tear up at almost everything that even remotely pulls at the heart strings.

I'm not talking about just tearing up and having those tears quietly sneak out (which did happen) during this movie.  But I bawled.  The scene where the doctor tells him he has cancer, the scene where he freaks out in the car and screams and bangs on the wheel, the scene where he's headed into surgery.  Good lord, they killed me.  Because they did SUCH a great job at portraying the emotion behind each of these things!  Maybe this movie affected me a little more than the average viewer, but everyone I know that's seen it cried too.

Please see this movie.  It takes place in Seattle (small bonus) and is pretty darn good at showing the emotions and feelings that a young cancer (or brain tumor!!) patient go through.  Bring your tissues.

Slow week

Haven't had much this week to post about (perhaps besides roller skating on Thursday night, which was AWESOME), so here are some of my favorite quotes lately (via Pinterest).

Henry Ward Beecher

Francis de Sales

John Mayer

Albert Einstein

I met with Dr. D, the sleep psychiatrist, this week and he has me clocking my sleep each morning (time to bed, time to fall asleep, times woken up during the night, awake time, time out of bed, etc.).  We'll see what ideas he has for improving my sleep.  I'm meeting with him again this week.

Also, my fellow tumor dominator Sara from Portland (whose dad connected with me at the Portland Brain Tumor Walk last summer and who I've emailed with a bit) is having another brain surgery this Tuesday.  Please keep her in your thoughts for a successful surgery!!!