So lucky

It's important to keep your perspective when feeling a little stressed or gray, and I really am so thankful for so many things in my life.

My health, even with a little brain tumor friend.  Cause I'm nuts like that!  And so stinking LUCKY.  So lucky with my circumstances, you guys.  (Seriously.)

My newfound enjoyment of fitness and Flywheel (and the positive changes I see in my body from it!).  I'm actually in shape-ish for the first time since HS!

My opportunities for fun travel through work, even when work stresses me out otherwise.  Paris, Manchester, and Amsterdam or bust (with fun work friends)!

Living in a great city, actually in the "city" part of it.  I love the buses and car sharing (Car2Go!) and walking everywhere and my FitBit's step monitoring and having nice paths to ride my bike on.

A comfy bed.  A tall showerhead.  My new vacuum.  Tall length Gap maxidresses for summer.  This ridiculously wonderful May weather in Seattle.

A sweet haircut (if I do say so myself).

Us Weekly.  ;)

And perhaps most importantly: My friends.  My family.  The support and love that they continue to provide to me.  Their care, their money towards fighting brain tumors, their hugs, their time at appointments, their participation in the walk, all of it.

I may not be married, or even have a boyfriend (at the moment).  I don't have kids.  These things may get me down.  But you know what?  I have so much to be thankful for.  Don't we all?!?  :)

Heavy week

I'm doing great, feeling great, but the big C has been on my mind a lot this week.  I got in touch with a former colleague that is my age and is going through chemo and surgery for stage III breast cancer that was discovered while she was pregnant with her (now) 1-month old.  I went with another good friend to their chemo appointment at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance.  And another good friend found out that their dad has stage IV cancer, and they're getting him into chemo ASAP.  A lot of heavy and scary stuff, but everyone is in great hands and have positive futures and outlooks.  Life... it is a crazy one.

The "I've been screened" stickers you have to wear to chemo, on a lamppost outside of the SCCA

I'm reminded of how precious our good health is and how lucky people are that don't have health issues.  And for those of you that have friends that are going through something difficult, this is a pretty good article about how to help, from my friends at Real Simple (I love their mag!).  Please take care of yourself and take care of each other!!

(And for anyone keeping track, I moved my MRI up a week to June 6th, as I'll be in NYC for training the week that it was originally scheduled for.)

Happy 2013

Happy New Year, friends!  Did you set resolutions?  I did not.  I didn't last year either and that turned out alright...  I do, however, resolve to continue to focus on my health and happiness.  I'll continue to try to not let the little things get to me.  I'll be genuine with my smiles and hugs.  I'll show that I care, whether it's through a hand-written card, or a coffee date, or a few minutes to talk to someone.  I'll remove clutter from my life (physically and not).  I'll work out (shout-out to Flywheel!).  I'll enjoy life and the delicious food in it.  ;)  I'll try not to stress about things that I cannot control or that aren't worth stressing about.

Wishing you a wonderful 2013 full of health and happiness!!! xo

Visiting the kiddies

Tonight I went over to the local Ronald McDonald House in Seattle to visit my friend K from high school and her 18-month old son F.  They are staying there currently while F undergoes chemotherapy for cancer and have been there for almost a month now (I think).  And it was so great!!  (Minus the underlying reason we were there, obviously...)

It was nice to catch up with an old friend, and little F was happy, energetic, and not letting that stupid cancer get him down.  He ran around, high fived, and played with the trains and toys and on the playground out back.  The RMcD house takes such great care of the families that have to stay there.  It is probably the scariest time ever for parents and families, and I can only imagine how comforting it must be to be so well taken care of!

Not F... but a darn cute happy kid at RMcD house!

K and I talked about life and how crazy it is, how fragile health is and how lucky we are to have it.  I shared one of my favorite quotes with her ("You don't know it yet, but we're the lucky ones." that Lance Armstrong was told as he went to his 1st chemo treatment) and we just reflected on how these scary experiences in life can bring so much happiness and appreciation for everything.  Seriously, we are SO lucky in life.

F starts his 2nd round of chemo next week.  The wonderful thing is that since he's so young, he won't remember any of these shenanigans and will grow up to be a healthy, strong kid.  Keep him in your thoughts for a smooth treatment and cancer-free future!!

"The best gift I ever survived"

My friend Hil sent me a link today at work, but I didn't get a chance to watch it until I got home tonight.  And am I glad I waited, as there were tears involved (but in a good way).  Check out this short (3 minute) video.

While I do agree with most of it, I would love to know where she gets her unsurpassed energy.  ;)  As long as my little tumor friend is silent in there, I feel the same way about the rest of the things she listed.  It's the gift that keeps on giving (ha!).  I'm just hopeful that I've already experienced the negative with my tumor and the rest will just continue to be positive.  My next MRI is on Thursday, and I know that if/when I get good results with no growth, I'll be again reminded of all of the wonderful things that she mentions.

One cray cray year

I failed to recognize a recent anniversary on here, which was 1 year from the "we think it's a tumor" (direct quote) call from my doctor (Saturday, March 31st).  Then shit got cray, real cray cray.  (That's crazy, for the uninitiated.  I'm pretty sure.)

And what have I learned this year?  What HAVEN'T I learned, is more like it...

• I have a tall heart that's hard to fit on the screen (per the lady who gave me an EKG)
• I have small ear canals (per a technician who put in earplugs before one of my million MRIs)
• I have a skinny neck (per my sleep neurologist)
• I have a skinny throat/airway (also per my sleep neurologist)
• I have a symmetrical head (per the technician who wired me up for my sleep study)
• I am a VERY difficult IV or blood drawing patient... but I don't need an expert to tell me that
• Women who get migraine with aura should NOT, I repeat, NOT be on estrogen-based birth control; increased risk of stroke!  Eek!!  Even if your lady doctor has said it's okay for years...
• Women who get migraine with aura should also take a daily low dose aspirin, to prevent said strokes
• Snoozing your alarm makes you a worse sleeper (alleged by Dr. D, my sleep doc... but I'm not totally convinced yet)
• Sleep schedules are important for poor sleepers (again, alleged by Dr. D)
• They make hospital beds that they put extenders on, to make the mattress long enough for those of us that are vertically superior
• You can have as much food as you want when you're admitted to the hospital, and it's kind of tasty
• They store secret pudding in the fridge in the ICU; ask for it
• Good insurance is AMAZINGGGGGGGGGG
• Brain surgery is EXPENSIVE
• Tumors are nuts
• Brain tumors specifically are nuts
• Cancer is nuts (mine luckily isn't cancerous at this time, but I'm still gravely aware of how nuts it is)
• Brains need time to recover from pesky surgeries
• Senses of direction are overrated, anyway
• Friends and family are amazing
• I feel like I won the lottery, but instead of people coming out of the woodwork to ask for cash, they've come out of the woodwork to express support and to help where I never expected it
• Life is cray cray
• Things can change in a second, for the good or the bad
• Enjoy what you have
• Focus on being happy and healthy
• Spend time with your friends and family
• Thank those people that help you, verbally and/or via thank you cards (I love mail)
• Pixie haircuts are hot
• Scary medical things, like brain surgery off the top of my head, not only affect you but your loved ones too... don't forget about their struggles and challenges during these times and that they need love and support too
• XXX Vitamin Water is no longer drinkable to me (after using it to take all of my meds after surgery for days)
• One particular ringtone on the iPhone is no longer usable either, after hearing it every 3 hours for days, alerting me to take my meds... gives me nightmares now *shudder*
• Have I mentioned that life is crazy, happiness and health are all that matters, and friends and family are so wonderful?!?

I do love lists... I could go on for days.  Or hours, as I have to stay up till midnight tonight with my current sleep schedule.  Yech.

Tell someone important to you today that you love them and are so appreciative for their support.  And then try to find some pudding...

Downton Abbey

Are you watching Downton Abbey?  No?  You should be!!

I'm down with Downton

The show is FANTASTIC and also throws out great lines on occasion.  This was one from the first episode of season 2 that just aired on Sunday (that my glorious TiVo allows me to watch right now):

"War has a way of distinguishing between the things that matter and the things that don't." - Matthew Crawley

I immediately thought, brain tumors do the same thing.  Those Brits, I tell ya.  They know how things can be put into perspective!

Peace out 2011, it's been real

Happy new year!!!!!!!  I have been looking forward to 2012 and turning 31 (in 2 days) for a while; or maybe it's more that I've been looking forward to it NOT being 2011 and NOT being 30 anymore.  Either way, I've made it!

While this last year has been the scariest, most stressful, most challenging, craziest year of my life, I'm pretty certain I wouldn't have changed it if I could.  That's easy for me to say now, while my tumor is well-behaved and not causing any trouble, but I really feel so happy for everything that's happened this year.  I feel like a whole new woman... seriously.  I'm happy.  I'm upbeat.  I'm thankful.  I'm satisfied.  I look forward to all of the adventures and excitement that the future holds.  I'm more laid back.  I don't let the little stuff get to me anymore.  I worry less.  I have a fresh new perspective on life and what is important.  My priorities are realigned for the better.  I have stronger relationships with my friends and family.  I've organized my life and cleansed it of the extra crap (and continue to).  I've got a sweet new 'do that I wouldn't have had the guts to get before.  And I feel GREAT!

Dancing the new year in at Dudley Manlove Quartet with Syd, Maria, Carl, and Steph the lurker

Happy new year, friends!  I hope that 2012 brings everyone lots of happiness, good health, and an appreciation for all of the wonderful things (and I don't mean physical things) and relationships that we are so lucky to have.  Cheers to a fresh new year and a fresh new start!

Oh so thankful

Happy Thanksgiving (a day early)!  This year's adventure has helped me gain some perspective, and I have a LOT to be thankful for.  Don't we all, though?!?!  In no particular order...

• My family, especially my seester Amy and cousin Steph, who have all gone to appointments with me, taken lots of time off of work to take care of me after surgery, given good advice when I'm feeling anxious or scared or sad, and just been an unending source of love and support.
• My friends, who have made me food, taken me out to dinner to get me out of the house, shared kind words, taken me to appointments, stayed with me after surgery, and also given great advice and been an outlet for me to share my feelings.  They also keep things fun and help to distract me when needed, and are another never-ending source of love and support.
• A job that I enjoy that is low stress, has sweet travel perks, is for a company I love, and comes with fun, supportive coworkers and bosses that have been amazing and flexible.  I could NOT ask for more with my job this year.
• The generosity of my family and friends (and even people I've never even met) with their donations to the National Brain Tumor Society.  I tear up just thinking about it (seriously).
• New friendships and connections with my fellow tumor-dominating lady friends (Krystal, Jess, and Sara).  While I wouldn't wish a stinking brain tumor on anyone, it is comforting to talk with people who are going through the same thing and knowing that I'm not the only one.
• Amazing doctors, some of the best in the country, right at my fingertips.  They are experienced, very skilled, knowledgeable, and have a great bedside manner.  I'm the #1 fan of my neurosurgeon Dr. S and am also loving my neurooncologist Dr. M.
• Great health insurance!!!!!!
• An apartment that I love (all 460 sq. ft. of it), in a nice neighborhood, with a charming view of Lake Union, a kickass rooftop deck, and very supportive management staff.  They gave me a spa gift certificate before surgery and let the people that stayed with me after surgery park in the garage for free.  They all know my name and always ask how I'm doing when I see them (and not just to be polite).  Plus they gave out free Costco pumpkin pies to all residents yesterday!  YUM.
• Health!  Minus a stinking tumor, but nobody's perfect...
• Us Weekly magazines and Starbucks, which became my daily routine during my post-surgery tumor vacation (plus the aforementioned rooftop deck) as I started to venture out.
• TiVo, because it rocks.
• My iPhone and my Garmin, which help navigate me daily now.
• Music... my outlet, my release, my love.  Now if I could only narrow down the songs for my upcoming Best of 2011...
• Travel!  In 2011, I went to Shanghai, Seoul, London, Paris, Boston, New Hampshire, Las Vegas, Missouri, San Francisco, Portland, Victoria, and down the entire West Coast.  I can't WAIT to make 2012 travel plans.  If anyone wants to go somewhere, let me know!
• Pixie haircuts and hats being in style this year.  ;)
• My new perspective and priorities in life: happiness and health.  It's a short list, but the things on it could NOT be more important to me.

What are you thankful for this year?

My net, my blanket

As I flipped through People magazine tonight while on the treadmill (getting yoked, you know), I read an article about Cate Edwards, daughter of John and Elizabeth.  And I quote:

"My mom [had a] theory that the relationships you build are that net for you, that blanket you wrap yourself in.  That's definitely what my family and friends... have done for me in the past year.  It's really been incredible."

Well, Cate, I couldn't have said it better myself!  I know I've said it before, but I feel so incredibly lucky to have a really supportive group of friends and family that have given me so much love and support this year.  It has been my toughest BY FAR, but also the most eye-opening to what really matters, how fragile life and health is, and how important happiness is.  While I know I won't be including everyone who has been there for me this year, because there are a LOT of you, I consider this my little mini tribute to my personal net and blanket group of people (in no particular order).

My fam: Amy, Steph, Lisa

Some of my Wazzu ladies: Karrie, Carly, Heather, Denise, Heather, Kelly

 Taylor, duh

BFF Carl (from waaay back in the day)

My kickass Tumor Walk team! 

#1 Fan, duh

My former P-dub and Troop 404 ladies: LuAnn, Sydnie, Lynn

More lovely Wazzu ladies: Megan, Courtnie, Brittany

Johnny, duh

Chelan homies: Alissa, Casey, Ryan (not pictured: Bob)

I kid on some of those, but in all seriousness, the rest of the people in these pics are pretty darn amazing.  I am honored to consider them part of my support group!

Simplifying my life

There are some things in life where more is better, like when it comes to having wonderful, loving, supportive friends and family.  I've really realized this year that in that category, I am rich!  I am so lucky to have so many amazing people in my life.  I tear up just thinking about it.  :)

But there are some things where more is NOT better, so I'm simplifying my life.  My 460 square foot apartment is too small, and some things are just not important, so I'm clearing my life of the excess.  Plus I enjoy shopping, so that doesn't help.  ;)  I've cleaned out my closet and have a huge bag for Goodwill of clothes, shoes, and accessories.  I've gone through my DVDs (most of which haven't been watched in years) and am donating most to the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance.  Of course, I'm holding onto the classics, like all seasons of Sex and the City, my Harry Potters, my holiday movies, and my favorites (The Royal Tenenbaums, Garden State, The Count of Monte Cristo).  But I've got a bag of probably at least 50 others that I am getting rid of.  I'm transferring a couple magazine subscriptions to the SCCA as well, as I get too many in the mail and I don't have the time to read them all.  I'm getting rid of random kitchen appliances that I haven't used in the 4 years I've lived in my apartment.  I'm tossing random things that I've kept "just in case" or papers that I thought I'd reference in the future (and haven't).  I just don't need this stuff, and having a simpler life (and apartment) will only do good things for my sanity.

It's kind of a slow process, but man, it feels GOOD.

What is in the water?!

Okay, so I know this blog is about me, but I have to include info about my fellow tumor dominators, especially when they grew up in God's country (Pullman, that is) too.  Just tonight the news outlets announced that Jerome Harrison, a 28-YO former Cougar football stud and current Detroit Lions running back, found a brain tumor during a routine NFL physical.  No tumor details yet (obviously, as you need surgery or a biopsy to really find anything out), but scary nonetheless.  They found it early and hopefully he'll be in a similar boat to me; that is, watching and waiting.  (Thanks for the heads up on this, Karrie D.)

I'm telling you...  Be careful with your health, be aware of your health, investigate things that seem weird with your body (without being a hypochondriac), and be SO THANKFUL when you are healthy and happy.  Really, they're what matter the most in life.  TRUST ME.  Health and happiness, people!!!!!