Back and forth, but mostly forward

I've officially been home from the hospital for a few days now, and I'm starting to get into a routine.  My "drug alarm" on my cell goes off every 3 hours or so and I pop an assortment of delicious pills (well, not really so delicious).  I've had my sister, cousin, and/or mom staying with me at night, plus I've had other family and friends stop by with food or to say hello.  I also have been sporting some sweet new loungewear, like these awesome monkey slippers from my Aunt Sally and Cousin Steph:

I've been feeling mostly good, but I think some of the "omigod I survived brain surgery I am awesome" adrenaline has worn off, and now my body is just trying to heal after taking a pretty big trauma for the team.  I've been on the lightheaded side a lot, and had a bout or 2 of nausea (but those are short-lived, luckily).  My short-term memory is definitely sucking and my head feels a bit loopy at most times.  My eyes are having some focus issues and I can't really read much.  I also hear lots of bizarre creaky noises and gooshes in my head, which is also quite normal, according to the nurse.  My sister washed and rebraided my Coolio braids, which was a highlight of today.  :)

I snooze a LOT but am happy to hear from friends and family, so don't worry about waking me by calling or texting or emailing to say hello.  I love all of the support!!!  I hope everyone has a great Memorial Day weekend.  If you're there, tell Chelan I said hello...  It's the first year in many that I'm not there.  Single tear.  ;)

Quote of the day #2

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength." - Anonymous, via Steph

I'm trying not to worry about my pathology/prognosis appointment coming up on Wednesday, 6/1.  And, honestly, I haven't been thinking about it much.  I'm still bummed there's a little bit of tumor left behind, but they got the most they could while still being safe, so I have to commend my neurosurgeons for that.  It's better to wake up with some tumor left behind and my vision intact, than no tumor and no vision!

This quote is a really great one to help me keep perspective and keep from worrying when it's not yet necessary.  :)

Come and visit me! I'm a barrel of fun

Hey friends.  I have a somewhat normal routine now that I'm home (assorted meds every few hours, a bit of snoozing here and there, free streaming NetFlix trial, etc.).  So let's mix it up a bit!  If you're at all interested in coming to visit, even if it's just to stop by for a few minutes, please feel free!  Since I have been snoozing and sometimes venturing out for small walks, please give me a heads up if you're coming though so I can make sure I'm home, awake, and not already "entertaining" (and I use that term loosely!).

I'm still feeling good, with minor bouts of lightheadedness and some tenderness in my general head area.  But overall, I feel just about normal.  It's nuts!!!

Amy redid my braids today and in turn discovered that I have one badass skullet (skull mullet) hairdo going on.  Check it out (along with my other graphic incision pic), at your own risk.  It is one hot look.  If only it were almost Halloween, I'd be SET.

Thank you for all of your messages and love.  I'm replying to everything, but it's taking me a little bit of time.  Hopefully, understandably so.  :)

I'm hoooooome!!!!

I'm home, 2 days after freakin' brain surgery!  Can you believe that?!?!  When they said I would have a fast recovery period, they really meant it!

First off, I have to thank my cousin Steph for all of her timely, accurate, and entertaining updates to my blog.  I've gotten a ton of feedback saying that people really liked the updates.  Steph, you rock.  ;)

I am also owing big thanks to my sister Amy as well, as she and Steph are going to be taking turns staying with me for the next few days.  I'm not that entertaining these days and like to lay around eating soup and pudding, so they are awesome for just hanging out and helping.  Hopefully my 1-month free NetFlix trial streaming through my TiVo will help make this more exciting for them too.  :)

Overall, I'm feeling really good.  I've had a headache on and off, and I have a couple pretty tender spots (one at my right jaw hinge and one of the right side of my neck) which I think are from the very weird position they put me in during surgery.  Painkillers have been helping (plus foods not requiring much chewing, as it hurts my jaw).  I'm in very little pain and have been able to control it well.  All of the doctors at nurses at UWMC were pretty great, and I was surprised to be sent home so quickly.  I do feel confident though and have a schedule written up for my new drug regimen, so it should be easy to stay on top of things.  My incision hurts a bit at times, and I'm definitely on the light-headed side of the spectrum, but I'm able to walk around normally.

I'll go meet with my neurosurgeons next week (Wednesday) to get the results of the tissue analysis as well as my prognosis.  Keep your fingers crossed for that appointment.  I'm a little bummed, as I talked to Dr. S this morning.  He looked at my after-MRI that I had done yesterday, and it appears that while they got most of the tumor out, they didn't get the whole thing.  Sigh.  I think it was a safety issue, and they were able to remove as much as they felt safely could be.  I think he said something like 90% came out... but I might have remembered that wrong.  Having some tissue left in my head makes it more likely that I'll have to have additional treatment (like radiation and/or chemo) but we'll just have to see.  I'm not worrying too much until I actually have something to worry about.  In the mean time, I am just SO RELIEVED to have made it through surgery without complications and feeling so good!!!!!  Plus I have a pretty hot hairdo of 4 braids right now.  haha

I know that some people out there want to see my incision, and some don't (as it is graphic), so I've uploaded a picture of it to a page on my blog that you have to actively click on to see.  If you don't want to see it, don't click; if you do, do!

Link to the graphic picture of my large head incision: proceed with caution!!!

Thank you again for all of your love and support.  I'll post more details and info soon.  And if you have any questions, please feel free to send them my way, as I'll probably put together a post-surgery FAQ page one of these days.

THIS JUST IN

Sara is being discharged from the hospital today and gets to go home!

If any of you were planning on visiting her at the hospital today, please hold off as you will be able to visit her at home shortly.

Amy will be heading home with Sara this afternoon and I will let you all know when she's all settled and ready for visitors.

Stay tuned...

~Steph

Party on "The Floor"

Or at least that's what the who's-who of docs and nurses are calling the regular hospital room area where Sara has now taken up residence.

Sara is officially situated in her own private room and she is feeling good. The doctors removed her head bandages and she is now sporting a chic cotton cap. She is eating solid foods (and specially ordered chocolate milkshakes) and is taking short walks around "the floor" for a bit of exercise. The doctors are pleased with how well Sara is bouncing back. It is looking like she may get to head home on Thursday.

If you would like to send any flowers or well wishes to Sara, she is located in the NE wing on the 4th floor of the University of Washington Medical Center on Pacific Ave.

Visitors are welcome anytime starting tomorrow (Wednesday 5/25), however please keep in mind that she is napping off and on and the visits should be kept somewhat short. Sara is in great spirits and is excited to see her friends!

Sara has been able to check her phone and email today and wants to thank everyone for all the support and well wishes!!!

I will continue to keep you updated on Sara's progress and any new developments.

~Steph

Day 2

Sara has been doing well this morning. She made it through her first night, with doctors waking her up every hour to check her vitals. She's been napping off and on all morning and when awake she's been taking breaks sitting in a chair and was even making a few phone calls.

She is ready to be moved to a regular hostpital room, the nurses are just waiting for one to be ready for her. As soon as she is moved I will have more info for you.

Thanks to everyone who has been following her progress. Sara had over 800 hits on her blog in the last 24 hours and she is definitely feeling the love!

More to come.

~Steph

Update #5

It's been a long day, but we were finally able to visit Sara in the ICU. Family (and Sara's BFF Carl) were allowed to go in two at a time to see her. She was awake, alert and in great spirits. And in true Sara fashion, she was even joking about an ICU all-night party with the nurses. -I think she was really enjoying her morphine drip. :)

Sara is feeling and looking great, and rockin' some sweet braids, after the doctors judo-chopped that tumor out in the O.R.

Carl and myself hanging with Sara in her room. (Sara and I were waiting for "hot doctor" to make another appearance.)

All-in-all surgery appears to have gone as well as we could have hoped for. Sara will be spending the night in the ICU so they can continue to monitor her. They are expecting to move her to a regular hospital room sometime tomorrow.

As soon as Sara is moved out of the ICU I will let you all know and also include where you can send any flowers/gifts as well as let you know when she is feeling up for visitors.

Again, THANK YOU ALL for all the thoughts, prayers and support throughout this whole process and especially today. Words can't express how much your support means to Sara and our family.

XOXO

Stephanie

Update #4

About 50 minutes ago we got the opportunity to speak with one of the surgeons (Dr. H).

Once the doctors moved Sara to recovery they woke her up. She was awake and speaking to them and moving her limbs, with some coaxing from the doctors. She is expected to be a bit groggy for a while. They will continue to monitor her as she slowly becomes more alert.

Based on our talk with Dr. H, it sounds like at first glance the doctors think that the tumor cells looked abnormal and they think it is a low grade tumor. We don't know yet what that means as a the full biopsy is required to determine the severity and next course of action.

The doctors were able to go in between the two halfs of her brain to remove the tumor from the right side (near the area that affects vision in her left eye). The doctor reiterated that Sara did well in the surgery and is expected to make a full recovery from the surgery.

THIS JUST IN:
As I type, we have just been informed that Sara has been moved from recovery to the ICU. Family is now able to visit her (one at a time). Off we go!

More to come...

~Steph

Update #3.5

Sara is officially out of surgery and in recovery.

Update #3

Sara is almost out of surgery. She's heading into the ICU shortly and probably won't wake up for a few more hours.

It sounds like the tumor was a bit deeper than expected but the surgeons had a safe route to get to it. It measured about 2 centimeters and they felt like they got as much of it as they could. The results of the biopsy will come in next week. As with anything there are no guarantees that there aren't cells left behind, but hopefully the biopsy will provide a better picture of what we're dealing with and what the next steps will be.

The doctors said Sara did well in the surgery (and is sporting a "generous incision") and expect her to make a full recovery from the surgery.

Stay tuned for more updates as we learn more.

~Steph

Update #2

The surgeons have reported that they just finished up removing the tumor and are preparing to put everything back together. They stated that all went well during the removal and that Sara tolerated it very well. They plan on giving us another update in about an hour.

It sounds like Sara handled the toughest part with flying colors. There's still more to go so keep those positive vibes coming her way.

Thanks again to everyone for your positive thoughts and prayers! I will continue to keep you posted.

~Steph

Update #1

We just received word that Sara's surgery has just begun and she is doing well. We expect to receive another update around noon.

~Steph

They don't call it a waiting room for nothin'...

Surgery Day!

Good morning to all of Sara's fans and followers,

Today is the big day. This is Stephanie, Sara's cousin, reporting live from UWMC. Sara and the family arrived early this morning at 5:15am to get the pre-op procedures rolling. Amy, Sara's sister, stayed with her during the first part of the morning which included a bit of hair shaving and a pre-surgery MRI. After the MRI I joined Sara in the patient surgery waiting area where we met some anesthesiologists, other nurses and Dr. H (one of the surgeons) came and spoke with us to let Sara know how the procedure was going to go and what she could expect afterward. Sara was in good spirits throughout pre-op and was given a little "happy juice" to help calm her nerves before they wheeled her out around 7:45am.

The doctors said that it would be another hour or so before they start surgery as they would put her to sleep and complete some additional pre-op procedures before the actual surgery begins. The doctor scheduled 4 hours for the surgery so, if all goes well, Sara may be out of surgery as early as lunch time. :)

Please keep Sara in your thoughts today. She is in great hands and we are feeling confident that all will go well. Stay tuned as I will continue to post updates as we receive them throughout the day.

On behalf of Sara's family we want to thank you all for your thoughts and prayers!
~Stephanie

Future brain tumor SURVIVOR

It's the night before The Big Day, and I've just eaten a nice 4th meal of leftover phad thai, before my no-eating deadline kicks in at midnight.  I need to shower tonight with the special hospital soap, and then I'm off to bed.  I have to check in at UW Medical Center at 5:15am, with my surgery scheduled to start at 7:30am.  I hope you guys all enjoy "sleeping in" tomorrow.  ;)

I am so ready to get past this.  I'm tired of waiting, tired of thinking about it, tired of wondering how it will go.  I've been quite nervous and quiet today, trying to hold it all together (which has been tough at times, and I've just had to let go at other times).  I'm not scared; I'm just really nervous.  I know I'm in great hands, but it's still nerve-wracking knowing what is coming tomorrow.

I've been trying to enjoy my headache free day, my lovely long hair (which is really nice hair! when I take the time to do it in the morning...), my "healthy" life that I have today.  I know a little bit of what to expect: massive headache from my brain fluid being drained out, some legit pain from the incision, maybe (but hopefully not) some nausea afterwards, a lot of feeling really tired, and probably half of my hair gone.  I did model my vast collection of hats and scarves tonight though and got some good reviews.  :)

Thank you to everyone that has reached out.  I've been overwhelmed with calls, texts, emails, flowers, cards, hats/scarves, and all kinds of well wishes.  Tomorrow, please keep me in mind.  Send me positive thoughts, vibes, and prayers (whatever your favorite flavor is), as I'll take all of the help I can get!!!!!

Let's hope they can get all of the tumor out and that it is without complications.  Or, as my friend Denise said, let's judo chop this brain tumor right out of my head.

My cousin Steph will be updating this blog from UWMC tomorrow, so stay tuned.  Hopefully the next time I see all of you I'll be tumor free!!!!

Lady of leisure

Now that I'm on my tumor vacation (alright, short-term disability, sheesh), I've been making the most of my time before The Big Day.  I met up with some of my favorite ladies from college a couple nights ago at Brave Horse Tavern for happy hour, one of the newest hot spots from my Seattle celebrity chef crush Tom Douglas.

Some of my kickass sisters - Karrie, Heather L., Heather M., Denise, Carly

The ladies were all very sweet and thoughtful and brought me scarves and other fun accessories.  We chowed on very tasty fresh pretzels and oversized pear ciders.  I think I'll get the most use out of one of the hats that Heather L. brought for me:

Arrrrggghhh, mateys

It was really great to catch up with them!!  (Steph and Kelly, we missed you....)

I've also been treating myself to the finer things in life.  Girls, you know what I'm talking about.  I had a haircut/consultation with my hair guy Eric yesterday.  Today I enjoyed a luxurious 90-minute signature massage at Gene Juarez, courtesy of the lovely ladies who run my apartment building.  And I am talking LUXURIOUS.  Robe; foot soak; awesome massage with scented oils, heated pillowy massage table, gentle music, and talented masseuse; fancy rain shower with eucalyptus steam... you get my drift.  It was unlike any massage I've had before.  Tomorrow, I have a mani/pedi appointment (thank you, LivingSocial).  I was also treated to a surprise dinner at Barking Frog that was soooo good.  I highly recommend their scallop beignets!

Today my mom came into town and we got dinner and took Fred Meyer by storm.  I think I have enough cereal to last me until July.  Yum.  Tomorrow is a day of cleaning and laundry and vacuuming and scrubbing my bathroom and fun stuff like that.  And mani/pedis.  Let's not forget the important stuff.

TMI? Perhaps...

This might be too much information (or TMI, as the cool kids say, for the moms that don't know), but I think my body is working in my favor and encouraging me to feel positive about surgery.  My anesthesiologist mistakenly let me leave on Wednesday after my appointment, when I should have stuck around to get some blood drawn.  Even after my sister and I asked him 5 times "Are you sure?  They said I needed blood drawn.  No?  But are you sure?"

Sooo, I ended up back at the hospital today to give that darn blood.  Now, I am a TOUGH vein person.  My veins are small, slippery, and quite difficult to get.  When I had an IV at Harborview for a recent MRI, it took 20 minutes and attempts at both arms (including a page to the special IV nurses there).  When I had blood drawn at NW Hospital for tests a few months ago, it literally took 30 minutes and a hot compress (and some prayers, according to my technician) to get a vein and to fill up the 12 tubes of blood.  So needless to say, I was nervous about this business today.

I warned Kyle, the technician, about my challenges.  He confirmed my difficult vein situation after investigating for a few minutes, but he seemed confident.  And.  He.  Was.  AWESOME!  First try, nearly painless, blood flowing out like it's nobody's business.  4 tubes, ain't no thang.  I was SHOCKED.  And relieved...  This never happens!!  Thank you, body.

Then, they inform me they need some urine.  (Sorry, this is where it's a smidge TMI.)  Had I known that ahead of time, I would NOT have used the facilities right before my blood work.  Oops.  But I go, try anyway, and voila!  Piece of cake.  My body said don't worry, I've got it.  Thank you again, body!

I hope I didn't just become like that person on FB who posts WAY too much information about what's in their baby's diapers or birth fluids or other completely inappropriate bodily things.  BUT... I was sooo surprised today at how my body reacted, that I couldn't help but feel good.  But don't worry, FB won't be finding out.  ;)

Pre-op?! More like pre-winning!

Okay, okay, I know the Charlie Sheen thing is on its way out.  And trust me, after (stupidly) forking over cash to see his "performance" in Everett, I know very well that he REALLY is on his way out.  Yes, I did that.  One of my poorest decisions of the year.  We did get McDonald's ice cream on our way home, so that was awesome.  But I digress...

NOT winning, Chuck

My seester Amy accompanied me today to my pre-op anesthesia prep appointment.  When I arrived, I had a little surprise waiting for me at check-in, as my college/surgery friend Krystal had left me a little treat after her radiation appointment today!  She left me an adorable hat and some sweet fuzzy socks with little soles that are good for wearing in the hospital.  That got the appointment off to a good start.  :)

We met with the anesthesiologist and went over my health history and questions.  He offered to prescribe me something for the nerves, and I told him I'd just have lots of cocktails this weekend.  I think he couldn't quite tell that I was joking...  I got some more information about what I can and can't do before the surgery, and he gave me some sweet hospital grade soap to shower with (twice) before the big day.  No cooties allowed in MY surgery.

I'll get "the call" (I don't know if they call it that, but I am) on Friday that'll tell me what time to arrive on Monday and when my surgery is scheduled for.  My money is on an arrival time of 5am, but I'm also hoping I'm wrong and they'll let me sleep in a bit.  Doubt it though.  ;)

After the appointment, we hit up our local theater to watch Bridesmaids.  It was hiiilarious!  I haven't laughed out loud at a movie so much in a long time.  We give it 4 thumbs up (between the 2 of us, obviously).

Definitely winning

I'm still feeling good, and really looking forward to getting past these shenanigans.  Thank you to everyone that has reached out... the kind words, thoughts, flowers, cupcakes, etc. etc. are a bit overwhelming (in a really good way).  I love you guys!!!  T minus less than 5 days...

Ode to Adversity, by Sara's dad

My dad called me today, and said that the MLK quote I have on this blog reminded him of a poem he once wrote about adversity.  He was having a particularly challenging day at work with a dysfunctional ATM, and he wrote this in his head to the beat of his steps as he walked over for the hundredth time to try and get the thing working.  And I present, Ode to Adversity, by my dad (Jim):

I laugh in the face of adversity.

I chuckle at trouble.

I sing to every stinkin' rotten thing

And I smile all the while.

I understand you, adversity.

For without you there is no can do,

No accomplishment or achievement.

You are resistant to the persistent.

Oh contraire to you, adversity,

Devil's advocate, heaven's testament.

I know you and I'll show you.

You can't wreck me, so I'm the best me.

So here's to you adversity.

I thank you for the rank you,

Your challenges fail as I prevail.

I respect you and detest you, as I best you, adversity!

Chow down!

If you're looking for some way to help, I have a fun and delicious idea!  I've set up a schedule on the Take Them A Meal site.  It's a great *free* website that allows you to set up a schedule for meal deliveries.  You (as my awesome friends and family) can choose a day, claim it on the schedule, decide what you're bringing, and then show up with/for dinner... and I'm guaranteed a fun visitor (and way better meal that I would have rounded up for myself)!  Either click on the link above, or go to http://www.takethemameal.com and type in my last name along with my password (riffraff).  Why riffraff?  Because they keep things more interesting.  Always.

Thank you!!!

"Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."  -Mark Twain

"As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists."  -Joan Gussow

"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money.  Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."  -P.J. O'Rourke

"Great restaurants are, of course, nothing but mouth-brothels.  There is no point in going to them if one intends to keep one's belt buckled."  -Frederic Raphael

FAQs, pre-surgery

I've had a lot of people ask me questions about this whole experience (and some people, I think, are afraid to ask), so I thought I'd put some of my most frequently asked questions out there.  If you have any other pressing questions, of course feel free to ask.  :)

What will the surgery be like?
I'll go in super early (5:15am-ish), get an MRI (to pinpoint the exact location), get an IV, and get knocked out.  After I'm out, they'll shave off the hair they need (NOT all of it, whew) and do the other pre-surgery prep (tube in my throat, tap in my spine, etc.).  They'll make a U-shaped incision in the back of my head, peel back my scalp, drill and saw out a piece of skull, and then do their business.  After it's over, they'll screw my skull back on with titanium screws and staple my scalp back on.  Fun stuff.  That should end in the afternoon, and then I'll go into the recovery area for a little time before moving into the ICU (maybe 5pm-ish).  That's when my family will get to see me again.  But in the meantime, nurses will be updating them every couple of hours during the surgery.

How much hair will they take?
They're shaving the hair off the back of my head, shifted slightly to the right (as my tumor is along the center line, but to the right).  I'm *guessing* it'll be about half my hair and I'm hoping that they won't take any in the front and sides.  That would help me disguise the shaved part easier.  But I'd been thinking about doing something different with my hair for a long time, so I'm actually not at all freaked out about losing my hair, as it's giving me a push to shake things up.  I kind of like that.  :)

What is the recovery time?
Assuming there aren't any complications, I'll be in the ICU for 1 night and then the regular non-ICU hospital for at least 1 more night, but probably 2 or 3 more (depending on how I feel).  Apparently recovery is pretty quick, as it's only the incision that needs to heal.  The brain itself doesn't need any healing time really.  I should be back on my feet within a few days of surgery, but I'm expecting to be quite tired and have some incision pain.  I'm taking 3 weeks off from work all together.

Can I visit you in the hospital?
I am hoping that I'll feel up to having visitors after I'm out of the ICU (so maybe late Tuesday/Wednesday/etc.) but I'm going to have to play it by ear.  A friend from college just went through the same thing (brain tumor surgery a month or 2 ago at my same hospital with my same doctors), and she said that she was super tired in the hospital and not really feeling up to visitors.  So we'll have to see.  My cousin Steph will be updating my blog, so it should say if I'm wanting visitors or not.  Regardless, I'll definitely want visitors when I'm at home!  :)

Have you been talking to anyone (professionally) about this?
I've met with a psychologist (Dr. G) twice now, as my work's employee assistance program covers 4 free sessions.  Dr. G specializes in medical situations and cancer, so she's given me some techniques to help deal with the stress and ideas to help make the day of surgery as smooth as possible.  I'm not sure if I think it's really helping much beyond that, but I figure it can't hurt!!

Speaking of, is this cancer?
We won't know what exactly my tumor is until 1 week after surgery, but chances are it is NOT cancer.  It's my understanding that brain tumors do not necessarily indicate cancer, like some tumors in other parts of the body do.  Even if it isn't cancer, I may still need chemo or radiation after surgery.  But we'll have to wait and see.

Is there a support group you can meet with?
I found a brain tumor support group at the University Hospital where I'm having my surgery, and I'm thinking I may want to go to that after surgery.  However, I don't want to go ahead of time, in case it freaks me out.  But I'll decide that all later.

How are you feeling?
Generally, I'm feeling positive, with some times of nervousness, anxiety, and fear in there too.  But mostly I'm feeling good, happy to see friends and family, and looking forward to getting past surgery.  I'm very independent and have decided that I'm not letting this stupid tumor determine any part of my life or make any decisions for me.  I feel like this is just a speed bump in my life, and I'm excited to get to the other side of it.  Maybe this is my big life challenge; I'm thankful to be getting past it so early in life.

What can I do to help?!?
Everyone has been really fantastic!!  Your emails and calls and cards and gestures (and cookie bouquets, yum!) have really meant a lot to me.  Keep reaching out and don't be afraid to say hello or ask questions. After surgery, I'll definitely want visitors when I'm home (and hopefully in the hospital) since I'll be cooped up in my apartment for a couple of weeks.  Feel free to bring magazines or movies.  ;)  I've also set up a food delivery schedule site, which has a calendar of days and you can sign up to bring dinner over on a specific day.  I'm hoping that people will sign up for that, which will both help me with dinner (since I suck at cooking for myself in general, let alone after surgery) and give me visitors!  If you sign up, please bring enough for yourself too and plan to hang out and eat and chat.  I'll be sending out the link sometime this week, so keep you eyes peeled for that, if you're interested.

Let me know if there are other questions I missed, and I'd be happy to answer them!

Tumors suck... so let's drink!

I've been pretty good at filling my calendar lately and keeping myself busy, as it helps distract from the situation I'm in and keeps me from sitting at home and letting my mind run crazy with unlikely scenarios.  So luckily one of my favorite springtime events just happened... the 6th Annual Portland Pub Crawl!

The group during a break from the rain

Each year my cousin Steph and 2 of her PDX friends organize the pub crawl in a different neighborhood of Portland.  Someone (talented!) makes the shirts, they arrange our arrival with all the bar owners, and they even do a drawing of Kentucky Derby horses for each person, with the winner getting their $20 registration fee back.  Big Brown won it for me a few years ago.  :)

Steph, who multitasks by attending both pub crawls and doctors' appointments

This year's crawl was in St. Johns, a neighborhood in northern Portland with lots of dive bars and the nutty locals to go along with them.  I love when an event includes great people watching opportunities.  The weather was on and off but we found tasty bar food, old and new friends, and a pretty great time.

Some of my PDX favorites: Steph, Jeff, Megan, Courtney, Karl

And don't worry, I'm NOT using my tumor as a reason to hit the bottle.  Ask my friends, I'm not a big drinker, and when I do, I'm a very slow drinker.  :)  But, I do prefer cider and I think my tumor prefers beer, which is just 1 more reason why it has GOT TO GO.  

Did you even know such a thing as PBRL (light) existed?!  It was like seeing a unicorn.

Thanks for another fun year, Portland!!  Can't wait for next year.

Lance Armstrong is a stud

My friend Torre recommended that I read Lance Armstrong's first book "It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life," which is the story of Lance's upbringing, his cancer diagnosis and treatment, and his first 2 wins at the Tour de France.  Torre thought it would be inspirational (and shouldn't freak me out, when I asked him).  It was a good read and showed Lance's strength and courage.  Lance also had surgery to remove 2 brain tumors, and that part did freak me out a smidge, as he describes his surgery.  But don't worry, Torre, the read was still worth it.  :)

A picture of the book on my Kindle just doesn't have the same pizzazz

There were a few quotes from the book that I wanted to share.  I know, it's a little cheesy, but life gets crazy and it helps to hear from and read about people that have gone through similar situations.

"People die.  That truth is so disheartening that at times I can't bear to articulate it.  Why should we go on, you might ask?  Why don't we all just stop and lie down where we are?  But there is another truth, too.  People live.  It's an equal and opposing truth.  People live, and in the most remarkable ways."

"To believe, when all along we humans know that nothing can cure the briefness of this life, that there is no remedy for our basic mortality, that is a form of bravery.  To continue believing in yourself, believing in the doctors, believing in the treatment, believing in whatever I chose to believe in, that was the most important thing.  I decided.  It had to be."

In reference to learning about his brain tumors: "But believe it or not, there was a certain relief in hearing the worst news yet -- because I felt like that was the end of it all.  No doctor could tell me anything more; now I knew every terrible thing in the world."  Sara's note: I felt a level of relief once I was told I had a tumor and surgery would be a "strong option."  There was no more waiting, no more wondering, and we finally knew what we were tackling and had a plan.  Granted, that relief has subsided at times, and I won't know until a week after surgery what my tumor is and if I'll need further treatment, but a big part of me is happy to know that (hopefully!!!) the worst part of this will be over.  SOON.

"There was a disquieting intimacy to the idea that something uninvited was living in my head.  When something climbs straight into your mind, that's way personal.  I decided to get personal right back, and I began to talk to [them], engaging in an inner conversation with [my tumors].  I tried to be firm in my discussions.  "You picked the wrong guy," I told [them].  "When you looked around for a body to try to live in, you made a big mistake when you chose mine.""

Inspired to kick some tumor ass with me?!  ;)

Quote of the day

Instead of continuing to ineffectively try to Google the MLK Jr. quote I was trying to find, I instead posed the question to Frank (from PostSecret) on FB, and he answered!  The quote I was trying to remember the other night is:

"Undeserved suffering is redemptive." 

- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people suffering out there FAR more than me, and I don't feel like I'm suffering.  Mine is more of an emotional and mental drain these days.  But, I have faith and hope that this will all turn out for the best and make me into a more patient, tolerant, forgiving, loving person with purpose.  Cross your fingers.  ;)

Hats a-plenty

My sister Amy helped me a do a little damage and grow my (non-existent) hat collection the other day.  Luckily it's nearly summer (perhaps not in Seattle, but there are rumors it might get sunny one of these days) and hats are IN, so my future half-bald head of mine and I are jumping all over this!

So far, my new collection consists of:

The "Spring Beanie" - Picked this up in both this camel/white color and a black/gray/white version

The "Babushka" - I have this exact print/color

The unnamed "50 SPF protection" hat - I have something similar in thick straw and gray stripes

The "Graphic Butterflies" scarf - The print is actually quite a bit smaller in real life

I think I'm off to a good start!  I'm also meeting up with my hairstylist Eric prior to surgery to go over my short hair options.  After I get through my hat and scarf phase (when my shaved hair has grown out an inch or 2), I'm chopping the rest of it off!!!  Think longish pixie, like Katie Holmes or Carey Mulligan.

This is the fun stuff, friends.  :)