Visiting the kiddies

Tonight I went over to the local Ronald McDonald House in Seattle to visit my friend K from high school and her 18-month old son F.  They are staying there currently while F undergoes chemotherapy for cancer and have been there for almost a month now (I think).  And it was so great!!  (Minus the underlying reason we were there, obviously...)

It was nice to catch up with an old friend, and little F was happy, energetic, and not letting that stupid cancer get him down.  He ran around, high fived, and played with the trains and toys and on the playground out back.  The RMcD house takes such great care of the families that have to stay there.  It is probably the scariest time ever for parents and families, and I can only imagine how comforting it must be to be so well taken care of!

Not F... but a darn cute happy kid at RMcD house!

K and I talked about life and how crazy it is, how fragile health is and how lucky we are to have it.  I shared one of my favorite quotes with her ("You don't know it yet, but we're the lucky ones." that Lance Armstrong was told as he went to his 1st chemo treatment) and we just reflected on how these scary experiences in life can bring so much happiness and appreciation for everything.  Seriously, we are SO lucky in life.

F starts his 2nd round of chemo next week.  The wonderful thing is that since he's so young, he won't remember any of these shenanigans and will grow up to be a healthy, strong kid.  Keep him in your thoughts for a smooth treatment and cancer-free future!!

Breaking news!

Okay, okay, it's not TOTALLY breaking, but I've been noticing something BIG and new over the last month or so.  The recovery of my brain after surgery that I was told would be fully maximized within 6 months or so of surgery?  Well, my friends, my brain isn't done healing!

My biggest post-surgery difference has had to do with my (lack of) sense of direction and (lack of) ability to orient myself.  But I've definitely been noticing that my sense of direction is improving!  I can remember directions and ways that I walked or drove *slightly* better than I have been.  I have a list of places that I can drive to without my GPS and feel comfortable doing that (Target, Bellevue park & ride, grocery store, downtown Seattle (mostly)).  I know that seems silly, as these are places I've been driving to for years and years, but me feeling comfortable and confident in my abilities to navigate without needing GPS and without screwing it up is new and sooooo nice!

I would say that before surgery, my sense of direction was about an 8 out of 10.  Not amazing, but I could get around easily enough and remember things.  Post surgery, I'd call it a 2.  That's perhaps generous.  What is it today?!  Maybe a 3!  Woo hooooo!!!

Celebrating with coworker Lindsay and 80s icon Lisa Frank's friends

Do I still have a long way to go to get back to my pre-surgery abilities in this department?  Yes.  But are things continuing to improve (which pleasantly surprises me)?  YES!  The improvements in my direction are really helping my confidence.  I haven't felt confidence in my navigating since before surgery, and starting to feel that again is sooo nice.  It's making me tear up just typing that.  (I'm such a softie now!  Sheesh.)

DUH-lete (my crappy attitude)!

Okay, I've snapped out of my crappy weekend feeling.  Hooray!!  Had a great talk (and free Starbucks) at work with my VP yesterday, got a lot done at work, met up with my friend Brittany for a delicious grown-up ladies dinner at The Coterie Room, watched the Bachelorette finale a day late with Lynn (Team 1 F! woo hoo!), and received a REALLY awesome gift for cat-sitting my neighbor cat Lola.  Then today I was able to get my bike tire filled up fully (took a few tries... but I think I've figured it out) and went for a nice 12 mile ride.  I knew I'd feel better.

I'm still on the lookout for crazy ladies in my neighborhood though...

My friend Karimi sent me a link for a pretty awesome blog called The Everywhereist.  She said the author sounds like someone I'd be friends with, and she lives in Seattle and travels a ton (and is really funny to boot).  Karimi meant to send me the link a while ago, and coincidentally, the author posted about a month ago that she has a brain tumor and was undergoing surgery.  I'm telling you, these stinking brain tumors are all over the place!!  She has a type of astrocytoma and I'm going to reach out soon.  As crappy as having a brain tumor can be, I love expanding my little tumor dominating network.  :)

Bleh

I had a crappy weekend.

Not entirely, as there were fun parts to it, like a jewelry party, brunch with a friend, coffee with another friend, a birthday party at Rockbox with karaoke (some of which I dominated... some of which I tried but did not), a 2nd viewing of Magic Mike.

But this was all offset by some crappy things that have added up to making me feel kind of down right now.  The guy I've been hanging out with is dunzo (I'm pretty sure).  I've been sleeping pretty crappily the last week or so.  Someone in my building threw a water balloon at the bus stop when I was waiting yesterday and it burst (at a very high speed, from a high height) right in front of my feet and scared me, got my feet all wet and dirty, and really pissed me off (and could have really hurt someone).  I installed my new bike seat but can't get it in the right spot, so it's uncomfortable to ride.  I tried to check the air pressure in my bike tires for the first time, and now I can't get the front to be fully inflated again.  I have had a constant headache from the cold that came back a week ago.  And then on my walk home from the grocery store today, just blocks from my apartment, some crazy/homeless/scary lady followed me closely, yelling at me about how tired she is of seeing white girls with things and that I'd better not come across her again or she'd kill me.  (I did not include all of the cuss words she also mixed in there.)  I tried to ignore her and hurried across the street.  I didn't even see what she looks like, I was too afraid to acknowledge her.

I know things are fine, and will be fine.  I'm meeting a friend for dinner tomorrow, which I'm looking forward to, and will hopefully meet up with another for happy hour this week.  But I have never felt so unsafe in my home and neighborhood as I do right now (not to mention some other security issues going on in my building right now).  I don't like feeling like this.  I'm certain it'll lift with time.

Tardy Dallas observations

I intended to do a (quick) 2nd Dallas observations post back when I was in Dallas... 2 months ago... but never got around to it.  So here it is!

There is a delicious wings place called Pluckers that started in (Austin?) Texas and is deeeelicious.  Get the boneless wings, get some tasty sauces, get some sides like mac n cheese and onion rings.  And get a giant jar of sweet tea.  Yummm...

A whole days' calories, all in 1 meal!  So efficient!

Everyone coordinates their outfits.  We called this colored denim day.  (Okay, it actually was a coincidence...)

At Girls Night Out with Sharan and Wendy

In Dallas they have 5 choices at the gas station!!  Not 3, BUT 5!  I went to fill my rental car up before returning it and got confused by all the choices.  Blows your mind, no?!

Gas was approximately 75 cents cheaper in Dallas than Seattle... sigh...

Dallas has some "interesting" approaches to enticing the ladies to buy clothing.  I'm just not sure how effective it is.  I prefer my clothes to NOT make me look like a farmyard animal.  But that's just me.

At the farm.  I mean, airport.

Okay kids, that's all I've got for Dallas.  Yee-haw!!  My next trip is to San Francisco next month for 2 weeks with a weekend in Portland for the Brain Tumor Walk sandwiched in there.  I'll keep my eyes peeled!

I'm so sneaky

I received a matching donation today (thanks Lynn and Salesforce!) and snuck into 1st place in the individual category... by 74 cents!!  I'll take it!  ;)

Now I'M the one to beat...!  Eek!

Happy fundraising (slash competition), kids!

Raising funds for excellent causes, yo

Fundraising for the Portland Brain Tumor Walk is in full effect!!  I'm gaining teammates (shout-out to Neil!) and getting closer to reaching my fundraising goal.  As of today:

Love all the Saras on here!

My team and I are each in 2nd place for fundraising so far... Love it!  And the other Sara you see on there is my fellow brain tumor dominator Sara that I've talked about on here.  I'm looking forward to connecting with her at the walk!

I'm at 53% of my goal of $5,236 and am hopeful that I'll reach it.  I know it'll be tough but I'm hoping my friends and family can continue to help support this cause along with me.  :)

In similar news, I signed up to ride in the MS Ride, to benefit the Northwest Chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society.  I'm doing a 22-mile leg in September as part of Team Expedia and I'm pretty excited!!!  I've been riding my new bike quite a bit and went 11 miles with my friend Lynn on Monday, and it wasn't bad at all!  So I'm pretty optimistic that 22 miles will be really doable, especially in 2 months from now.  Maybe I'll even decide to upgrade to the 50 mile ride!  (Although let's not get ahead of ourselves... whoa...)  We're getting custom Expedia bike jerseys to wear (side note: I LOVE events with costumes, uniforms, or otherwise matching outfits), and everyone else on the team is super friendly and fun and excited.  I think it's going to be an awesome time!!!!  There is fundraising for this event, but I'm not sharing my link as I'd rather people donate to the NBTS.  (Sorry, MS Society.  Tumors for the win on this one.)

Thanks, friends, for your continued support!!  You don't know how excited I get to receive a new "you have a new donation" email.  :)

Blogging slump

I know, I know, I've been sucking at blogging lately.  Part of it is because I just haven't had brain-related things to need to post about!  Hallelujah!!  But there are things I want to post about (lingering Texas observations, my seester Amy's wedding, confidence in direction, my biking endeavors, the MS Ride, our Brain Tumor Walk fundraising progress)... I just haven't.  I will!  Wah wahhh...  :\

Validation!

I met with M, the counselor I've seen twice now, last week.  I'm still not sure if I'm going to keep meeting with her regularly, but I do like her and think it's always a good thing to get your feelings and fears out and have a professional help you process them.  I gave her the good news about my last MRI, and told her how excited and happy I've been to have pictures of my MRI scans finally.  I told her that I've been showing them to people and that it's probably weird that I'm enjoying having them and showing them off.  And she said, "That's not weird.  It's validation."

And that word just CLICKED.  Exactly!  Validation!!  I have proof of the reason for all of the crazy things I've gone through this last one year plus!  It's not that people didn't believe me, but it's felt like this whole tumor is there just because I've told people about it, I've told them I had surgery, I've told them about my new brain limitations since surgery.  And I know people have believed me.  But now I can SHOW them, and not just tell them.  I mean, people have witnessed my directional limitations and reminded me of things that my faulty short-term memory had forgotten, but those things don't feel quite as concrete as a picture of my brain with a tumor in it.

It still may seem weird to other people, but it's not to me.  Feeling good because I have these pictures, this validation, gives me so much satisfaction.  This business is real, this struggle is real, and my newfound strength and clarity and appreciation for life are real too.  It's not just in everybody's heads (well, it IS in mine... literally).  I have proof.

Validation is my word of the week.  :)