Validation!

I met with M, the counselor I've seen twice now, last week.  I'm still not sure if I'm going to keep meeting with her regularly, but I do like her and think it's always a good thing to get your feelings and fears out and have a professional help you process them.  I gave her the good news about my last MRI, and told her how excited and happy I've been to have pictures of my MRI scans finally.  I told her that I've been showing them to people and that it's probably weird that I'm enjoying having them and showing them off.  And she said, "That's not weird.  It's validation."

And that word just CLICKED.  Exactly!  Validation!!  I have proof of the reason for all of the crazy things I've gone through this last one year plus!  It's not that people didn't believe me, but it's felt like this whole tumor is there just because I've told people about it, I've told them I had surgery, I've told them about my new brain limitations since surgery.  And I know people have believed me.  But now I can SHOW them, and not just tell them.  I mean, people have witnessed my directional limitations and reminded me of things that my faulty short-term memory had forgotten, but those things don't feel quite as concrete as a picture of my brain with a tumor in it.

It still may seem weird to other people, but it's not to me.  Feeling good because I have these pictures, this validation, gives me so much satisfaction.  This business is real, this struggle is real, and my newfound strength and clarity and appreciation for life are real too.  It's not just in everybody's heads (well, it IS in mine... literally).  I have proof.

Validation is my word of the week.  :)