My hair is a-growin'!

This may seem like an odd pic, but I wanted to show how well my hair has been growing since the big shave 5 months ago.  It's a little hard to tell, but my hand is up against my head and all that lovely hair shooting out is fresh, flowing (I wish!), shiny hair, almost ready for the big chop.  (It's like the big shave, but more stylish, not performed by a neurosurgeon, and I get to pick how it looks.)

Hair and Dexter, fun Sunday night combo

This week has Barre3 classes, a dentist appointment, a possible hang-out with my new friend Jess, and then a flight to San Francisco to visit Lynn and David and attend a Coug football game with Jacqui and Richard over the weekend.  Should be a good one!

Reminders

These are some important documents on display on my fridge.

Clippy clip

These are the pics I'm taking to my hair guy for my upcoming cut, and I got the card in the mail from my good friend Sydnie this week.  Not bad reminders, I'd say...

Sara, What and Huh?

Some of my loyal readers (ha!) out there know what the title of my blog is referencing, and other people just look at me with a confused face when I mention the name or if they check it out for the first time.  So, those of you NOT in the know, allow me to explain.

When I was in elementary school, one of the main required readings was a book called "Sarah, Plain and Tall" by Patricia MacLachlan.  It is a "novel is set in the western United States during the late 19th century.  Jacob Witting, a widowed farmer who is still saddened by the death of his wife during childbirth several years earlier finds that the task of taking care of his farm and two children, Anna and Caleb, is too difficult to handle alone.  He writes an ad in the newspaper for a mail-order bride. Sarah, from Maine, answers his ad and travels out to become his wife."  (Thanks, Wikipedia.)

Like the Harry Potter of 1986... NOT

The book was adapted into a made-for-TV movie, starring the lovely Glenn Close as Sarah.  It also starred Christopher Walken as Jacob, which actually kind of makes me want to rewatch the film again...  But anyway...

Truth be told, I did NOT like the book OR the movie.  The book was award-winning though!  And who doesn't like movies with Christopher Walken?!  Well friends, I have always been very tall, the tallest in my class.  So with the name Sara (3rd graders don't differentiate between Sarah and Sara, those amateurs) and being VERY tall, I totally got "Sara, Plain and Tall" all the time from my classmates.  And NO girl likes to be called plain.  So was the book good?  Probably.  The movie heart-warming?  Probably.  But I was anti.

For people my age though, "Sarah, Plain and Tall" is a book/movie that we remember.  So when I was thinking about a name for this blog, I wanted to play off of the name, since I thought it was quite recognizable and clever, and putting "brain" just sort of fit.  So if you want to kick it like in 3rd grade, read/watch on the Hallmark Channel to your heart's content.  And no, mail-order bride-ing it is NOT in my future.  (Yet.)

Simplifying my life

There are some things in life where more is better, like when it comes to having wonderful, loving, supportive friends and family.  I've really realized this year that in that category, I am rich!  I am so lucky to have so many amazing people in my life.  I tear up just thinking about it.  :)

But there are some things where more is NOT better, so I'm simplifying my life.  My 460 square foot apartment is too small, and some things are just not important, so I'm clearing my life of the excess.  Plus I enjoy shopping, so that doesn't help.  ;)  I've cleaned out my closet and have a huge bag for Goodwill of clothes, shoes, and accessories.  I've gone through my DVDs (most of which haven't been watched in years) and am donating most to the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance.  Of course, I'm holding onto the classics, like all seasons of Sex and the City, my Harry Potters, my holiday movies, and my favorites (The Royal Tenenbaums, Garden State, The Count of Monte Cristo).  But I've got a bag of probably at least 50 others that I am getting rid of.  I'm transferring a couple magazine subscriptions to the SCCA as well, as I get too many in the mail and I don't have the time to read them all.  I'm getting rid of random kitchen appliances that I haven't used in the 4 years I've lived in my apartment.  I'm tossing random things that I've kept "just in case" or papers that I thought I'd reference in the future (and haven't).  I just don't need this stuff, and having a simpler life (and apartment) will only do good things for my sanity.

It's kind of a slow process, but man, it feels GOOD.

What is in the water?!

Okay, so I know this blog is about me, but I have to include info about my fellow tumor dominators, especially when they grew up in God's country (Pullman, that is) too.  Just tonight the news outlets announced that Jerome Harrison, a 28-YO former Cougar football stud and current Detroit Lions running back, found a brain tumor during a routine NFL physical.  No tumor details yet (obviously, as you need surgery or a biopsy to really find anything out), but scary nonetheless.  They found it early and hopefully he'll be in a similar boat to me; that is, watching and waiting.  (Thanks for the heads up on this, Karrie D.)

I'm telling you...  Be careful with your health, be aware of your health, investigate things that seem weird with your body (without being a hypochondriac), and be SO THANKFUL when you are healthy and happy.  Really, they're what matter the most in life.  TRUST ME.  Health and happiness, people!!!!!

Team Ryan Leaf

Ryan Leaf announced that he'll be undergoing 6 weeks of radiation starting next month to treat his brain tumor.  I've been quite interested in his story, as we have a lot in common:

• Both Cougs!  Woop woop woo hoo!
• Both are dominating brain tumors
• Both had surgery in May 2011
• Both quite tall
• Both developing a better, different outlook on life and what is important
• Both generally awesome (although some say it's debatable, for him)

Here's a brief article for more info.  If my tumor decides to misbehave someday, radiation is likely my next step as well.  I'm wishing him lots of luck and sending positive vibes for treatment!

The world is not ending

Contrary to what I believed last week at this time, the world is not, in fact, coming to an end.  Since Jeff ended things, I've felt so lost, so very sad, and completely and entirely devastated.  I've cried every day (including today).  I look and feel like a zombie because I'm not sleeping.  I have no appetite (but on the plus side, I've lost the small bit of weight I put on after surgery).  I am not in a good place.

But I had lunch with my lovely friend Heather today (and her sweet baby Addy) and she reminded me that I deserve to receive as much love as I have to give, and that things happen for a reason.  I truly believe in the "things happen for a reason" thing, although I have yet to figure out why I was oh so lucky to jump on the brain tumor bandwagon, nor do I know what the "reason" is for Jeff and I ending in the big picture of life, but she is right.  It was not meant to be.  Which makes me sad... but at the same time I am hopeful for finding love in the future.  This was just not meant to be.

I TRULY feel so so lucky that Jeff came into my life when he did.  We had been on 2 dates when I got the "we think it's a brain tumor" phone call, and he didn't get freaked out or peace out (which he COMPLETELY could have done, totally understandably).  Instead, he said it was no big deal and became a huge source of support and care and love (and doctorly advice) and even much-needed distraction for me at the time in my life when I really needed it the most.  And I really believe that my tumor diagnosis and surgery and Jeff being in my life were meant to be hand in hand.   I am SO thankful for him during that crazy time.

I am still sad, and lonely, and confused, but in the long run, things ARE going to be okay.  Better than okay.  Wonderful even.  I just wish time would pass a bit faster so I could get past this rough patch (and rough year) and get to the other side of this.

A very happy day

My BFF Carl married his bride Maria on Saturday, and it was a fun, lovely event!  Hair and makeup started nice and early (my appointment was at 8am, and I was in the 3rd heat, if you will, so it really started earlier than that).  We lounged in the suites at Hotel 1000, and I moved back and forth from the girls' and guys' suites, since I was (technically) on both teams.  We had lunch, did pics near Pike Place Market and the Olympic Sculpture Park, then headed to the church.  After a short ceremony, we jumped back in the party bus to let loose at Hotel 1000.  Carl and Maria surprised us all with a fun choreographed number right after their 1st dance (Carl actually kept it a secret!!!) and we ate and danced the night away.  It was fantastic.  :)

Some pics, in time order:

Hanging out in the ladies' suite with Gloria, Carl's adorable mom

My best hairdo EVER!!  You can't even tell there's half a head of hair there

Doing some scoping

Doing our classic "Carl is tall, Sara is short" pose

My fellow groomsmen (minus Molly): Shawn, Aaron, Eric, lurker, Carl's dad, and Katie

The groomsmen, plus George (Molly's BF), during photos near Pike Place Market

Professional pics by Carol Harrold

Professional pics by Carol Harrold

Another classic Carl-Sara shot, at the reception

With my new friend Megan (we have a TON of mutual friends, we're very popular like that)

Katie planking, or perhaps just lounging leisurely, it's hard to tell

My bouquet (5 days later): gorgeous!!  White, blush, and peach roses, frosty green foliage, and gray feathers.  So dramatic and so on-trend.  Makes my apartment smell nice too.  :)

Mr. and Mrs. Fulton are enjoying a few days in London before heading to their private ocean hut in the Maldives.  Sure beats this gray Seattle weather.  CONGRATS!!!!  Welcome to the family, Maria!!  ;)

We need your help!

Per the National Brain Tumor Society:

Your Members of Congress are making really big decisions this fall about biomedical research funding on brain tumors and other forms of cancer.  

Hanging in the balance of the budget debate in Congress is how much money the National Institutes of Health (NIH) will have to make grants to find new therapies and ultimately a cure for brain tumors. The federal government is the largest funder of brain tumor research in the nation, therefore, we have a lot at stake.  

NIH funding is at risk unless we pressure Congress to maintain it!

Please help by taking action and sending a letter to Congress you can let your voice be heard and make our priorities known.  Click here to fill out a short form, which will send an email to your legislator (mine went to Patty Murray).  It's that simple and really very easy!  Nothing to print or mail in, just a powerful and important message to our leaders.

I am lucky at the moment, not needing additional treatment or surgery, but that could change at any time.  While surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy are brain tumor treatment options used everyday, I am hopeful that there will be new options by the time I need them.  PLEASE help convince Congress to keep funding the NIH!!

And 30 continues to be the worst year of my life...

Carl and Maria's wedding was great, and I'll post some pics as more come in (I didn't really take hardly any myself).  So, I've been very open on this blog about how I've been doing and feeling, so in the spirit of full disclosure and staying consistent, I have to share something.

Jeff broke up with me yesterday.  I feel completely blindsided.  I really thought he could be THE guy for me.  Now, the word is devastated.  Devastated.

I've got a damaged brain and a broken heart.  What will be next to really make 30 memorable.  Because I haven't shed enough tears this year yet.

(Sorry for the pity party, but if putting this on here means it's fewer friends I have to tell in person, it makes it easier for me.)

Mr. and (soon) Mrs. Fulton!

I am SO excited for my BFF Carl and his fiancee Maria, who are getting married this weekend!  Yours truly is a "groom's attendant" that will be sporting a cute black dress and standing on Carl's side during the wedding.  Tomorrow has mani/pedis (ladies only, sorry Carl), rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner at Black Bottle on the agenda, and Saturday has hair, makeup, pictures, and all the festivities, including the reception at Hotel 1000.  It's going to be such a wonderful (and fun!) celebration!!!

Carl made THE cutest video of all time, with a pretty awesome song!  Congrats (soon!!!) to the Fultons!!

Sad

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.  Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.  And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary.” -Steve Jobs, via Jacqui

Rest in peace.

Just what I was afraid of

I ventured tonight to my very first brain tumor support group at UWMC, after a previous failed attempt.  Amy and Steph met me there, and I was pretty nervous.  I've been afraid that going to this support group, full of patients/survivors and family (or "caregivers" as they say), would freak me out.  I feel like I'm settling into a decent little reality that does include my tumor but definitely does NOT focus on it, and I love the freedom in my thoughts and emotions of not thinking about my tumor and, frankly, being lucky enough to really not have to "deal" with it right now.  (Knock on wood.)  I don't want that to get sidetracked by scary stories and situations.

So tonight they open with mentioning that a certain regular attendee to the meetings won't make it tonight, as he just entered hospice.  Not a good start.  Then I introduced myself, along with 2 other 1st time attendees, and we got to our guest speaker.  Apparently sometimes they have guest speakers, they talk for 30 minutes (of the alloted 2 hours), and they're on a topic that is relevant and that the group wants to hear about.  Tonight's guest speaker talked about near-death experiences for the ENTIRE 2 hours.  A lots of things death-related.  And how she's not afraid to die.  And what it will be like, based on her near-death experience.  And how great my book is, it has won awards, would you like to buy it, I got a 6-figure advance from my publisher, etc.

While I thought the near-death topic was somewhat interesting and it didn't offend me, I was still a little uneasy/emotional.  She then said some things to the tune of "we're all going to die, face it, blah blah blah blah, brain tumors or you could get hit by a bus, we're all dying, etc." and I couldn't handle it.  I just started bawling.  And instead of her doing whatever WOULD have been an appropriate reaction, she thought that I was crying due to some sort of "breakthrough" that I had related to her topic.  No, lady, I was crying because you started shoving death in my face, like it's no big deal.  Then it started this debate in the room (that probably had 25-30 people in it) about whether the topic she was discussing was appropriate, and whether she was being insensitive, and had things gone too far.  She came by and was holding my hand, apologizing (sort of) in front of the group, which was quite embarrassing and not helpful at all.  The post-discussion, which essentially started when I began crying, lasted probably 10 minutes, at least.  And now I feel like I've disrupted their whole meeting and am embarrassed for crying in front of a room full of strangers (when nobody else was, especially).

After that, I was glad to hear that others in the room were uncomfortable and it wasn't just me.  In fact one lady got up and left in the middle of it, saying "I want to leave" but very politely and subtly.  And all of the regulars were saying that meetings aren't usually like this, speakers usually only talk for 30 minutes, the topics aren't like this, we usually laugh a lot, and they all seemed genuinely concerned about my well-being and comfort and want me to come back to future meetings.  They all reiterated that the first year is the toughest and that it will get easier.  I got hugs and phone numbers and emails.

I really think that I picked the worst possible meeting to start out at.  But really, I didn't know if I was ready for this stuff, and I'm still not sure if I am.  They warned me that next month's speaker is about some morbid topic, so it might be better to come back in December for their annual holiday party meeting.  But I just don't know at this point.  Tonight was tough.  :(

Blowin' up the PBTW, still!

Last week, I opened my email to find 5 "you have a new donation" emails from the National Brain Tumor Society, for the Portland Brain Tumor Walk.  Then I watched as it rose to 6, 7, 8... 15 emails right before my eyes!  I'm not entirely sure what happened, but my guess is that checks were processed for many corporate matches and these are what hit my donation log.  Some of the donors were names (none of which Jeff, Amy, or Steph, my top fundraising teammates, recognized) and some were insurance agencies, but I've gotta assume they're corporate matches that people requested after making their own personal donations.  Regardless, those 15 new mystery donations bumped my fundraising from $3,235 all the way up to $4,535!!  Can you believe that?!  I am now dominating 1st place by nearly $1,000!  And Team Sara, Brain and Tall jumped up to $8,168!

Don't mind if I do!

These new totals make next year's fundraising goals a little tougher (I plan to take this year's final amounts and add $1 for next year's goals), but I think we can do it, right?!  With the support group I am lucky to have and all of the people who gave to help me and the cause this year, I think we've got it in the bag.  ;)

Parisian observations, from Seattle

I have 1 final batch of observations from Paris to blog about.  But in case I don't mention it... I am so happy to be home.  :)

• I saw maybe a couple people my entire time in Paris with visible tattoos.  It is QUITE different from here, where it seems like everyone and their dog has a tattoo.
• On the bicycle tour I took I learned about this anonymous street artist (like Banksy, but from Paris) named Space Invader.  He makes space invader mosaics, then places them in public spots in the middle of the night.  In some cities, when he has a lot of them, he'll plan ahead of time and place them strategically so that they form the shape of a space invader on a map.  I got SO excited when we spotted one in Paris.  He's got them all around the world, including in San Diego and on the East Coast.  Next time I'm in San Diego, I might go on a space invader scavenger hunt.

Parisian space invader!

• McDonalds has different flavors of McFlurries in different cities around the world, as they tailor the candy mix-ins to the local candy selection.  In Paris, I decided to try a Magnum McFlurry; it's a brand of chocolate that I'm just starting to see ads for here.  The big difference between American and French McFlurries, though?!  They don't mix them!  Please "Flurr'it yourself!"  The nerve.

Stir it myself?  How dare you.

• Parisians love to dress monochromatically.  All black, all gray, all navy, all khaki.  I suppose that makes it easy to mix and match clothes, when everything is the same color.
• In America, we're starting to see people moving from earbuds to full on big earphones.  Well earphones have taken over Paris!  There are probably equal numbers of people wearing earbuds and headphones.  And I LOVE it.  

Me, Mona Lisa, and my big gray headphones during the Louvre tour (and a ghost)

• If you are looking to sue someone, might I recommend moving to Paris?  There are tons of accidents waiting to happen!  Mostly related to faulty roadways and walking areas, and especially areas that drop 3 feet without any indication until you're about to walk off of them.  I swear, if things were like this here in America, our culture of sue-happy people would be even more ridiculous than it already is.
• The Metro (subway) cars are small, much smaller than NYC or Seoul or other places I've been, but.... they arrive every 3 minutes!  It's amazing!  You don't even hardly have to wait.  It is FANTASTIC!  Then, when you exit the Metro station, they have these exit doors to walk through that seem to magically know you're there.  They swoop open quickly a foot in front of you, and I liked to do a little Harry Potter-style hand movement to pretend like I was opening them with my mind.  It just makes the commute more enjoyable.  And nobody can see you.  ;)
• Nobody reads on the commute, except a few newspapers here and there.  Nobody has seen or heard of Kindles.  Our main contact had to ask what my coworker had on the table (his Kindle).  Oh those Parisians, so behind the times... 
• French onion soup is just as good in America.  I had some delicious French onion soup and some terrible French onion soup in Paris.  So don't go there looking to have amazing soup.  The fantastic macarons, especially from Laduree, on the other hand...
• Freaking scooters everywhere, including on the sidewalks.  They literally DRIVE on the sidewalks.  Granted, it's just to get to parking sometimes (near/on the sidewalks), but still.  Catches you off guard at times.  
• There is a car in France called the Citroën Xsara (or xSara, as I prefer).  They're not cute, and I couldn't get a pic as I only saw them while I was in a cab, but still.  I think I know my future car if I ever live in the 'burbs of Paris and need a car.
• Remember that rude French girl I mentioned, who insulted me by calling me lazy (twice)?  Well, that same day, she had told me that I shouldn't drink mochas from Starbucks, as the chocolate is fatty and sugary and high in calories.  She's kind of a fun vacuum and full of things to say.  Anyhoo, I'm at Starbucks on my last morning in Paris, and she's ahead of me by about 5 people.  What drink does she pick up?  A venti mocha.  Of course.  I'm too classy to say anything (ha!), but I know she saw me.  Shame, shame.
• They love Team Jacob in France.  Taylor Lautner was doing an appearance at a movie premiere on Champs Elysees, and I walked by right before he came out (and I heard screaming girls while I ate dinner nearby).  But as I'm Team Edward, I didn't waste my time trying to scope him out.  I'm sure you all understand.

Well, that is the last of my observations from Paris.  Perhaps I should start doing that when I travel new places.  I had a ton of doozies when I was in Springfield (You know you're in the Midwest when your waiter says, "Our fish special tonight is halibut, have you heard of it?").  We'll see...  Thank you all for your feedback, I love hearing that you are enjoying my blog!

No chop

Well, I went to my haircut this morning.  Eric, my hair guy, said my growth was 2 inches; not as much as he would like, but he could "make it work."  He said he couldn't give me exactly the cut I wanted (I took in a couple pics) but could do a shorter version of it.  I am NOT about to rush into this pixie before my hair is ready, and I do NOT want some butch or mom hairdo.  He suggested waiting 2 months, so I can get a 3rd inch, then he can do it.  So while I have mixed feelings about all of this (I'm tiiiiired of buns, ponytails, and hats), I want to make sure it's right.  If I force it early just to force it, I know I'll not be happy.  And I need everything in my corner to do this cut.  It is by far the biggest change I have EVER made to my hair (and I don't do changes to my hair, it's been the same since, oh, forever).  So Saturday, December 10th is the day.  Get ready...