Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Sometimes you feel like a nut

I think I've mentioned it on here, but I have this thing since surgery where I get really disoriented in the middle of the night about the time.  As in, I wake up, see it says 2am on the clock, and cannot comprehend what that means.  Do I need to get out of bed?  Did I sleep past my alarm?  I can see it's dark out and quiet in the city, but should I be at work right now?  My alarm didn't go off, but shouldn't I be up?  It usually takes me a minute or 2 to realize I can go back to sleep.  It sort of comes and goes, but has been happening more recently.

Well, last night I awoke around 3am, determined it was time to be up, went into my bathroom, turned on the shower, and was about to get in it when I decided to come back out into the kitchen for a final peek at the clock.  Then I realized, it's still quite dark, and it's a bit quiet out, and I didn't think my alarm had gone off...  So I reluctantly turned the shower off and climbed back into bed.  I woke up a couple more times, checking the time on my alarm clock and on my phone and in my kitchen (I can see my microwave and stove digital clocks from my bed).  I finally got it through my head that I could sleep until my alarm.

It's such an odd, panicky, disoriented (temporary) feeling.  It never ever happens during the day but seems to happen nearly every time I wake up and feel obligated to check the time (sometimes I don't feel the urge to check the clock, in which case I'm totally fine and go back to sleep).  Makes me feel a tiny bit crazy...!  Eek!  But you know, if this is one of the few things that I have to deal with post-surgery, I can handle it gladly!

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