Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Let's be overly dramatic today

UGH.  I have NOT had a good day.  I am having a VERY bad hair day.  Like, ridiculous.  I've got mysterious wings behind my left ear, and chunks of my bangs won't lie flat and just stick straight out.  I tried playing with the pomade, I re-wet and re-dried it, to no avail.  It poofed throughout the day, and looks very 90s mom with an asymmetrical twist.  And it REALLY affected me today!!

I know this whole thing sounds silly, but with my new short 'do, there is nowhere to hide when your hair doesn't cooperate.  I can't put it up in a wet bun or in a ponytail; it's just there, being ugly.  I've been really happy with the cut and have felt really confident up until today.  But today the insecurity I had about my hair totally impacted me.  I had a crappy attitude.  I felt super self conscious.  I avoided going to the kitchen at work so people wouldn't see me; I also avoided dropping off some files (okay, gossip magazines) with a friend for the same reason.  I wore my coat at my desk, furry lined hood and all, to try and cover it up.  I avoided eye contact with people.  Yes, this sounds very dramatic.  But I was nearly in tears!  I never once felt this uncomfortable with half a bald head and a hat or headscarf on.

I've felt really good and really happy lately, but today illustrated to me that I still have some cracks, some fault lines in my confidence.  And I know it sounds dramatic and unnecessary... but I didn't expect to feel quite so impacted just from having my hair look bad.  Plus now I'm nervous that I won't be able to fix it up right tomorrow.

If the worst of my worries and troubles are a single bad hair day, I am one lucky lady.  But man...  I would never have predicted that it'd affect me so strongly like it has.  Here's to hoping that I improve my hair doing skills and lighten up on myself when it doesn't go quite how I'd like it to.

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