She's a little slow

I feel a little slow to post these days.  Part of it is that I'm not actively doing anything related to my tumor, which was the original catalyst to starting this blog.  Yes, I'm doing the sleep schedule that Dr. D prescribes and checking in with him weekly.  But other than that... there's not much going on!  I suppose I should be thankful (and I am)...

I'm still feeling a little slumpy but better.  Thank you to those of you who reached out; it feels nice to be loved.  I'm still anxious about telling a potential dater about my tumor sitch, but I have hope that with the right guy or even just a good guy, it won't even matter.  I talked to my friend Karimi at work, and she agreed with the things that Heather said, about guys thinking it's a good thing and me being tough and able to overcome something like that.  I think that the piece that holds me up though is the feeling that I'm not past this, I'm not over it.  If it were something I could totally put behind me forever, I'd shout it from the rooftops!  Take that, stinking brain tumors!  Duh-lete!!  Forever!  But that isn't the case.  I've still got a piece of it in my brain.  I will have to watch it for the rest of my life.  I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable or certain in my health, or at least my brain health.  So I feel like I'm not as confident sharing it with someone when it's an ongoing problem and not something I'm totally done with.  And that's where I feel insecure, that someone won't want to battle this along with me.  And battle isn't even the right word.  Watch.  Live with.  Exist with.  I hope I never have to actually battle it.

I got a recommendation for an interesting sounding counselor from a friend and am hoping to get a complimentary "meet and greet" session set up to see if we're a good fit.  I also contacted the provider at work that gives us free sessions and have some names to call, although I haven't yet.

Bleh.  To be continued.